Pulled over by the police...
Mr Policeman: "How fast were you just driving sir?"

Me: "Seventy miles per hour officer."

Mr Policeman: "Are you sure? Because we had to do over eighty just to catch up with you."

Me: "....."
(Dai Napoleon, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:47, 28 replies)

pointless post has no point

(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:50, closed)

Not entirely pointless. If the police had stuck to 70 they wouldn't have caught up!
( Vambo, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:07, closed)

I see...
so the next time someone steals a car, the assailant should just stay above 70 to outrun the authorities?!

this is like the:
"People drive too fast, some guy was doing 90 when I overtook him this morning" joke, but changed to make it not funny.
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:16, closed)

Er ... no ...
It's a tale of ignorance on behalf of the policeman (or very poor sarcasm on his part, more likely).

I think a little someone is being tired crosspatch.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:27, closed)

How is it?
What common knowledge is this policeman lacking here?
Do you even know what the word "ignorant" means?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:36, closed)

that 80 in a 70mph zone is illegal? maybe?
what a stupid policeman!
(__, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:38, closed)

If he was a mile up the road doing 70 then the PC has got to do more than that to catch up, perhaps 80?

Doesn't mean the driver was speeding.
(jono_h, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:59, closed)

"over eighty"
90 is still over eighty.
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:04, closed)

*reads maths book*
100 is over eighty too
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:05, closed)

if they had to do over 80 to catch up with him,
it's because he was doing 80.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:05, closed)

or they wanted to catch up sooner

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:34, closed)

Oh dear.
Either the policeman is ignorant of the fact that 80mph is faster than 70mph, or he knew full well that the story teller was lying, and in order to display this said "Are you sure? Because we had to do over eighty just to catch up with you." in order to be sarcastic.

Ignorant means "like iron".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:26, closed)

How in the world could you imagine the policeman didn't know 80mph was faster than 70mph?
Of course it is, that was the point. He pulled the guy over for speeding. Which is to say, going faster than 70mph.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:37, closed)

In which case, as I said earlier
He was being (very poorly) sarcastic.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:38, closed)

I admire you
for your perseverence in the face of this sort of thing.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 10:10, closed)

And the correct answer is............
"And how fast did you need to go to keep up?"

Now do you see the point?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:29, closed)

fucking hell i keep clicking i like this instead of reply you qotw backwardtards
so, the policeman went over eighty to catch up with you, therefore you were doing at least eighty, which is why they pulled you over.
(__, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:37, closed)

that's what I thought...
so either we're very clever, or equally stupid
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:38, closed)

that's not necessarily the case
OP is doing 70. police are a mile behind. police have to go over 70 to catch up. if they go over 80 they catch up faster.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:34, closed)

RIGHT.
ON THE STREETS! PICKET ALL THE POLICE STATIONS!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:35, closed)

haha what a retard
you that is.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:27, closed)

OBJECTION!
I don't really object, I just like your username.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 15:07, closed)

So the story here is 'I got caught speeding'?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 19:49, closed)

I clicked
because I understand the concept of how speed and distance relate, unlike at least half the commenters.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 14:49, closed)

I clicked your comment
because it saved me typing the same thing.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 10:11, closed)

WTF is up with the replies?
This seems perfectly legit to me.

K, this guy is a legal 70mph, the police are a few miles behind, see him in the distance speed up to over 80mph to catch up, signalling for him to pull over, and they both slow down. So Mr Napoleon is doing a legal 70mph up until the point where he is signalled to be pulled over, where he and the police both slow down.

So, the police (superficially) seem to have made the assumption that since they had to go fast to catch up to him (ie accelerate in the same way you might have to run to catch up someone who is walking), he must have been going fast.

But when I explain it, it has no humour at all instead of the slight grin it gave me on the initial reading.

Yet, I can't help feeling that fatigue has rendered me victim to some trans-modernist irony.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 15:49, closed)

I saw them do this on top gear not too long ago!
and here is a minivan going 85 passing a sports car going 70!
(MrPlankton, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 2:00, closed)