It was the week of my Grandma's funeral.....
...and i had traveled up by coach to Cromer to stay with my Grandad for a few days. I hadn't seen him for about 3 years as my parents had divorced over 20 years ago and we didn't see the Norfolk branch of them (father included, but thats for a another time) .The morning of the funeral came round and my Uncles had come round for breakfast and to get ready at grandads house. Being a keen amateur chef I decided that I would go of the shops and purchase what was needed for a full English. I returned and started to make the breakfast for my grieving grandfather and his sons.

As I plated up the bacon, sausage and hash browns i had forgot the eggs in the pan. I carefully put them on everybody's plate before announcing: " Sorry about the eggs, They look a bit cremated"

Queue me wanting the ground to swallow me up.

To then top it all off, shortly after the funeral as everybody is making there way from the crematorium to the wake i had asked the vicar rahter loudly, If he had a light for my cig. This time Queue angry glares from my father who I had not seen for nearly 15 years! Funnily enough, i haven't seen any of them since.
(norfolk_is_gay, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 11:19, 9 replies)

It's 'cue'
Aside from that, not a bad story.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 11:21, closed)

But try to avoid using that as well
After all, it wasn't a film was it?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 13:13, closed)

Like your username.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 11:32, closed)

you should have told your dad to lighten up

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 11:41, closed)

I see why you dont like Norfolk
is it a family based reason?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 13:31, closed)

Nor fokin way man

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 15:28, closed)

if you even had half an insight into the troubles that the "Norfolk Branch" have caused my family im sure you would be more than understanding. Meaning the last 20 years or so of my life have been filled with nothing but hatred for all things norfolk/norwich. I hate Delia Smith, I hate colemans mustard, I hate The football team, and i hate stephen fry.
(norfolk_is_gay, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 16:26, closed)

No! Not Stephen Fry!
(Smysha Tra la la!, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:15, closed)

Cremation
On the way to my Dad's, my Mum complained about the hearse in which we were travelling, that had been late due to a mechanical malfunction, "Look, and they never even emptied the ashtrays after last time".
(Classic Ray, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 0:14, closed)