Cyber stalking
Through my teenage years from 11- 18 there was just one girl I was besotted by. Others might come and go, but there was always her. Being the nerdy social death magnet that I was, she was always weary of me. After A-Levels we went our separate ways.

So one day last month I spent a lunch hour tracking her down. She had a fairly rare surname which makes it easier. Typing her name into 192.com, I can tell that she spent 4 years at university which means she will be extra qualified. She then spent 3 years in the south east at an address with a man's name on the electoral roll before moving back to her home region. Landlord or boyfriend? Well he left the university at the same time, so I'm guessing boyfriend relationship that didn't work out.

From her LinkedIn profile I can see her original job. The company location matches what 192 says about her being in the SE for 3 years, before moving back here and taking on a more impressive job title. With the extra university qualification I can see that she must be quite well paid now. And she works in IT, after belitting me over it for all those years.

A quick visit to nethouseprices.com, and there is the house shes living in, bought 4 years ago for a decent sum. I even download the title deeds from landregistry.gov.uk and confirm that it is her. I never knew before that she had a middle name. An aerial scan at various online mapping sites reveals a tidy garden and a sensible car which is always a good sign.

Finally I check with facebook. There she is, and her friend list is made up of people from her current company, tieing in with linkedin.com. Whilst I can't see her profile, I can see that of one of her friends. They went on holiday together recently, and there is a pool photo of her that would have wanked myself to a dry husk over in my teenage years.

And happily now I've moved on. Theres no payoff to this story that I'm going to go round there with an axe, or even contact her. After a dismal teenage decade, I'm taking this as a small success that I've got over it.
(chutneyweasel, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 12:53, 13 replies)

Wow
That wasn't creepy at all. Not a single bit. Do you have a pair of binoculars next to your windows as well for 'bird' watching
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 13:00, closed)

spending this time tracking down a girl you haven't seen in ten years
cleary means you have NOT got over it

you need to get out more

or possibly less
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 13:28, closed)

anyone else anticipating the headlines?
Man caught weeping whilst wanking into chest cavity of dismembered corpse of former crush pleads innocence on the grounds that he was 'totally over her'...
(jennymnemonic, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 13:34, closed)

it's as if you can see the future....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 13:42, closed)

Woah!
I thought I was obsessive when I looked up an old girlfriend on facebook and scanned her pictures. But I'm clearly a beginner...

Although I do notice a little tongue-in-cheekery with the "so over it line"...

I have a feeling this may not be entirely serious.

(hopefully...)
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 9 Nov 2009, 13:45, closed)

*Backs away and avoids eye contact*

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 14:33, closed)

hmmm
you are either a troll, or very very disturbed. or possibly both.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 14:43, closed)

or b3ta's irony sensors are waning

( rofl harris, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 15:22, closed)

Dont listen to them ^
I get what you're saying.

I did similar with a girl I was crazy about in school. She had the most beautilful smile. I don't have the computer skills that you do, but I simply found out where she lived, and went to surprise her.
I always thought she felt similar, and when I found out she didn't I panicked. The blood was spurting out faster than I could clean it up.
A few clumsy strokes with the blade, now her lips are mine for ever.

That beautiful smile...
(TheColonel, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 15:35, closed)

Have a click you weirdo
but just for "photo of her that would have wanked myself to a dry husk over"
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 18:18, closed)

You are Barry George AICMFP
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 19:48, closed)

this ...
... read like a semi-ironic 'how to' guide for cyberstalking ... but it's a case of don't shoot the messenger too ... before this internet thing, tracking people down was a job for private detectives, the police, obsessives or the inland revenue - now if you're bored in front of your computer you can ask yourself out of the blue 'i wonder whatever happened to X?' and go and find out with a few clicks (if they have an online presence) ...

when i was at uni, my first girlfriend had a fling with another bloke who seemed to be destined for great creative things ... hadn't thought about him for years when a random thought process threw up his name and i googled it ... turns out he popped his clogs in his 30s ... oddly enough, i didn't think "ha haaaa!", i felt more like i was driving slowly past a car crash ... just vaguely disturbed ...

er, um, the point of all this being that our own use of the internet has made tracking people down quite easy ... and if you leave loaded guns lying around the place, someone is going to 'just have a go' at some point...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 21:50, closed)

You should be a private eye
Great legwork there squire. Philip Marlowe would be proud.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 10:21, closed)