Beer and Crisps
While living in Miami Florida, my mate had a birthday party for his (then) 2 year old daughter. His idea of refreshment was a keg, and potato crisps. The party started mid Saturday afternoon, during the summer heat, in the back yard. My mates brother was in a band, and the band setup stage outside, and played for many hours. They were not good, but they were loud.

Well beer and crisps is not particularly settling to the stomach, when its the only offering. And after half a dozen hours of drinking cheap American beer (it was night by then), I was dozing peacefully in the back yard on the only table left outdoors (the party having moved insides due to the cops having visited twice), and awoke to decide that the crisps were on their way out of my stomach.

So I staggered to my feet, walked a few steps towards the nearby fence, leaned over, and deposited several hours worth of beer and crisps into the grass. Feeling better, I returned to the table, and dozed off again.

My mate told me later that one of the female guests walked outdoors the following morning in her bare feet, and of course stepped in my leavings (how did they know it was me?). Squish.

At least, at his next party, he served more substantial food.
(nitecruzr, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 6:41, Reply)

Hallway Climbing & DUI
Went to a party in the colonies, in the bustling metropolis (not) of Richmond Virginia. This being the colonies, mostly what everybody brought was cheap beer, but a few had wine and there was some hard liquor too. The party was sedate enough, til somebody got the idea of making combo punch.

The party was in an old Victorian mansion, with 12 foot high ceilings, and narrow hallways. And only one loo. So the line for the loo tended to be a bit long, particularly after the punch (consisting of a combo of everybodys bringings) was mixed and remixed. So while waiting in line for the loo (in the upstairs hallway), somebody discovered that it was possible to put his back against one wall and his feet against the other, and walk up the hallways towards the ceiling.

This broke up the monotony of waiting for the loo, and pretty soon, a major amount of the party was to be found just under the ceilings, in both the upstairs and downstairs hallway. Then somebody got sick whilst at the top, no it was not I (I don't think so anyway), into somebody's (female of course) hair, in the hallway below.

Well, I had intended to be somewhere else the following afternoon, so I decided eventually to make my way home and there to sober up. And so about 3 am or thereabouts, I made my exit and staggered back to my auto.

It was a hot and humid Virginia night, so I started the engine and opened the sun roof, then opened all of the windows. And decided that, since I could not really see the ignition switch without a bit of fumbling, driving home was not a good idea. So I closed my eyes for a bit, to wait til I could see no more than 2 images in front of me (I was currently seeing 3 to 5 of everything at the time).

Well maybe an hour later, the neighbors called the cops. And I, sitting peacefully in a drunken stupour, awoke to hear "Sir, have you been drinking?". Having heard that it's not good to lie to the cops, I answered "Yes officer, but I have no intention of driving home, I only came out here to sober up in peace" (as much peace as could be had a block from the chaos ensuing from the party still in progress). And the cop informed me that sitting behind the wheel as I was, with the key in the ignition (and the bell beeping at me), I could be cited for DUI.

So he permitted me to carefully remove the key from the ignition, place it on the floor behind the drivers seat, and crawl into the passengers seat. And he implied that he would be back every hour or so to check up on me, and he had better not find me behind the wheel again, or he would have no choice but to cite me.

So I remained in the passenger seat for several hours, until sunrise actually, and my vision having improved (and the cop never returned), I started the engine and drove home very carefully. I had my eye on the rear view mirror constantly, because I was certain that the cop was waiting around every corner, every block til I got home. Of course he had many better things to do, so he never returned. The wanker.

Customary apology for length.
(nitecruzr, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 6:23, Reply)

SO me and a friend drive about an hour and a half
into the country
for this girl Katie's party
we were intentionally uninvited to.......
get drunk
jump in the hot tub
make out with half the guys there
get kicked out
take a taxi back into town
go to boston pizza
write 'katie is a slut' all over the bathroom
best party EVER
(plumb, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 0:49, Reply)

Highlights from many Parties
Hanging a friend by his ankles on a 60ft drop, Vomiting on a policeman, Posting shit through someones letterbox, Having armed police arrive, Saving a friend from a fall from the 12th floor when a window he was leaning against opened, and nice game of drunk football on the deck of a midnight ferry to France are a few I can think of, there maybe more but my memory is a little hazy.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 0:34, Reply)

How rare..
So the party was fancy dress, in a nice big hall, it was a friends birthday party, but with all her relations friends of family ect.-her parents had let her do the teeny house party the year before,and it was never going to happen again- it was also halloween.

Now I had been working all day so a couple of mates had gone to the fancy dress shop to get the costumes, what did they get me, a fucking pink fairy, replete with wings, cunts.

Anyway I've always been game for a laugh, so we show at the party, an evil monk, some weird thing that looked like the creature that radios the storm troopers at Los Isly when they're about to get on the milennium falcon for the first time and a fairy.

The party went quite well for a bunch of drunken teenagers with a load of older relatives and such.

Highlights were me getting my cock out to the host's mum, and groping her tits infront of her gran, but at the end of the day fun was had by all.

So, a couple of mates and I are walking back to my house in or costumes at about 3 in the morning on halloween, and are very drunk indeed.

We walked past the local convent when I had my great idea. Lets break into the convent and find the dormitorys, you know what they say about catholic girls, it'll be an orgy.

So we climbed over the gates, checked all the doors and windows, and found one unlocked, hurrah. We were then confonted by a hound from hell, barking, snarling and generally looking like it was going to rip our throats out. Two of turned to run while one of uor number-not me-calmly walked up to it, and started to stroke it's head, it promptly rolled over to have it's belly tickled. Bonza let's find the girls says I.

So i'm wondering round these classrooms looking for the dorms, I walk into a dark room and a voice shouts freeze, so of course I run. I running down these corridoors, look behind me and there's a very short, very bold naked man chasing me. I got away and hid under some stairs.

A few minutes later, my mates walk by with said naked man chatting away. I come out of hiding, and all comes clear. He was the caretaker, when he saw us in fancy dress, he realised a halloween prank was afoot, and no police were called, he just wanted to know how we got in, and how we got passed the dog. I was finding all of this very funny, as he was still starkers, and us in costume.

When I left work that day, if anyone had said "Your night will end dressed as a fairy, being chased around a convent by a short, bald naked man" I wouldn't have belived tem one bit.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 23:46, Reply)

Last night
Beach party.

Earlier on in the afternoon I'd had a Subway, and asked for extra Jalapenos, the bloke serving covered by sandwich in jalapenos. Didn't think much of it at the time...

Come forward about 7 hours to 11.30pm, and I'm sitting on the beach with my eyes closed because everything is spinning, my body wants to hurl, but for what seems to be the 9th hurl in a row nothing comes up, then suddenly in short bursts its coming, and my mouth is on fucking fire thanks to spicy italian sandwich with BBQ sauce and the recommended life amount of jalapenos on it.

Then having to "sleep" in a 3 man tent packed to the rafters with 6 people, on a beach but we pitch up on the fucking cobbles, not the most comfortable sleep I've ever had!

A lot more happened as well, but I've been sworn not to let it out over the Intercock airwaves...
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 23:46, Reply)

Chavs.. im annoyed
Well kingston... so i decide to bop there and there was the random Friday night partay somewhere near so i went... what a mistake... on the way with my friends we walk past fucking 30 chavs... they r like - 'hey dese guy no where da party at like bre init... etc'

So i think shit this party is gonna be big... we like peg it away from these guys and down the road to where the party is... we get in and bout 20 people there... no biggie then, drinks flowing fine until a bottle smashes against the window...

We look out to our horror - 50 chavs waiting outside - were shitting ourselves, this house was well nice and for such a nice house - what a shit lock they break it down and raid the 1st floor of the house, me wanting private time with this girl and they fucking put a knife to me - shit shit shit then they peg it away, they steal everything from this room, pictures, bags (including mine) and the booze.

One of my friends fucked off his head goes out with another companion and the chavs got a right beating, before the police came and they scattered, free house with twenty 15yr olds is weird... then the house was boarded up i went tofind my bag - i did but all they took was my wallet... £10 loss... then we drank till we were fucked and went to Krispy Kreme and got half dozen doughnuts for free coz they liked our evening... wooo shit

Funny thing i found a fiver on the floor and made friends with sum kl chavs... they wouldnt do shit... soz bout length
(neorockz :), Sun 16 Apr 2006, 23:20, Reply)

My dentists house.
Once upon a time, a younger, slimmer, and a more fully equipped with a head of hair, Menashem attended a party along with some friends at a large, pleasant house in the country.At this party were friends, and friends of friends, all of which fell under the category of ‘good people’, meaning we all dressed the same and listened to the same type of music, this being the necessary criteria to make friends as a teenager, regardless of personality.
This party began well, each person drinking their drinks, talking, laughing and so on. Punch bowls were formed, and each person added to, and drunk from it. Then things got silly.A young man decided he had to have his ear pierced right away. I jumped up to do this, as I had never pierced an ear before. Or anything else for that matter. But could we find a needle in this house? Could we balls. Closest thing we found was a dental scraper, the kind of thing nightmares are made of, a silver hook of pain capable of inflicting visions of dread in the bravest of people. “That’ll do!” We both cry. I grab his head and start to work on his ear forcing the scraper into his left earlobe as hard as I can, with him gripping onto the sink in the bathroom and trying not to cry. At any moment we’re expecting a ‘pop’ sound and a rush of blood, but it was not to be. The scraper wasn’t going through, despite the pressure I was putting on it. I grabbed his Zippo and lit it. I held the scraper above the flame until it glowed red hot, and then held it on some more.Quickly, so at to not waste the heat, I lifted it to his ear and, with all my 19 year old might, ignoring my victim’s manly screams, restarted my work on his defenceless earlobe. But the mans earlobe simply refused to budge. I had been bested. Despite the smell of slightly singed teenage flesh, I had to concede to the lobe. I decided then, perhaps due to the smell of cooked flesh, that I was hungry and went to the freezer of this house, in the garage. There I found a turkey, a whole one, frozen, of course. “can you cook a frozen turkey in the microwave” I cry to a nearby innocent bystander. “uhhh, why not?” so in it goes, setting the timer to an hour, on max heat.Drink resumes. An hour passes. I return to the microwave. It’s not done yet, so back on it goes, and again, and again until it turns into rubber. I try to feed it to the dog, but he’s having none of it. This story is getting longer that I intended it to be, so I’ll cut it short. Turns out the house belongs to my dentist, and I’d spent the evening trashing his house. Sometime poetic justice works in mysterious ways.
(menashem, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 22:43, Reply)

Local MP's Trousers
Local MP for Southampton John Denham has a daughter that I went to school with. Having a nice big house over the water was an amazing venue for our teenage get togethers, and the making and braking of many frienships.

Perhaps the most memorable occasion was when my mate get into lots of trouble for pissing off of his balcony onto one of the neighbours boats, but the clinch for me was getting into a fight with one of the yobs that turned up- I ended up straddling the cnut in a semi heroic fashion, only to split my trousers while performing mounted punches. My reward for "keeping the peace" was that good old John Denham supplied me with replacement jeans- he was concidentally exactly my size- A flattering 34 L.
(Faidman, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 22:41, Reply)

October 2003
Had a halloween party at my digs.

As the night went on everyone slowly got more arseholed.

After everyone left i walked into the kitchen to find two of my mates having sex over the kitchen sink. Bot being guys this left nothing to the imagination.

In all honesty il give them 10 out of 10 for balance, it was quite impressive.

Anyway, these guys werent exactly 'out the closet' so to speak, but were so gay they screamed "put your willy in me" with there voices alone. So i go through the door and they get a bit of a fright, cue one of the guys moving and the other losing his balance, going straight through the window behind the sink.

One short casualty trip later and £50 bribe to a neighbour who was a glazier, landlord never found out.
(nirm, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 22:35, Reply)

Oh, well, you know
Being still teenagers, a bunch of stuff is still fresh in my mind. Every couple months or so, we try to have a party, usually failing miserably with "I thought you were going to invite people" or "Oh, well, actually let's not have it after all eh?", so on. Now and then we have a good one.



That wasn't one of them, though.
(Poogle, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 22:25, Reply)

Porn & milk...
First post and all that jazz.
i have 2 particularly awful stories.
The first was at a mates house while I was at college.His parents were away and me and my best friend were invited round. We were told a few of his other mates would be there.
We turned up at his house to be greeted by a gang of 14 year old chavs sitting in his lounge drunk, watching some rubbish 70’s porn that had been found in a forgotten corner of my mates loft. I turned out to be a great night. We all got slaughtered and one boy in particular who couldn’t hold his booze (and had been drinking vinegar for some reason) passed out in the loo.
The other lads thought it was a good idea to strip him off naked & hose him down in the garden to wake him up. Shame the poor kid went in to shock and an ambulance had to be called.

The second story happened when me and my best mate (same one as above) went travelling round Australia. We were staying in a hostel above a pub in Bundaberg and a big gang of us were getting pissed & playing drinking games. Got to about 3am and we all decided to retire to the TV room to watch Judge Judy.
4 of us decided it would be fun to have a water fight with everyone elses milk out of the communal fridge. We also had a competition who could throw a cup of coffee the furthest ( it seemed a great idea at the time.)
Most people called it a night after that so on our way back to our room me and my mate spied one of the vacant rooms had been left unlocked and decided it’d be fun to go and jump on the double bed. We were having a great time until until I fell off and my mate felt queasy & yacked up in the corner so we crawled off to bed.
Next morning I woke up on the floor of my room with a swollen ankle, stinking of off milk & no recollection of what had happened the night before. I hobbled out to look for my mate and walked past the TV room to see a huge brown stain splashed across the wall & the hostel manager fuming that he had to turn away guests because someone had been sick in the room they had booked.
(wendythegoat, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 21:33, Reply)

I had more fun whilst not pissed.
I was at a houseparty once, and for one reason or another I refused to touch a drop of alcohol (i think i was testing myself or someshit like that). it was everyone elses 'first time' at being properly shlarmy, and the host decided to walk up to me and punch me in the balls HARD.

"You C***" i cried, but unfortunately he was much bigger than me. He then preceded to snog my pissed then-girlfriend in front of me, so i decided to plot my revenge in a better fashion:

I collected everyones puke/alcohol-full-pint glasses and bottles at about 4am (when everyone had slipped into an unconcious sleep) and began to hide them in mysterious places (such as in a drawer under his parents bed), in his dad's sock underwear drawer, in the back of the airing cupboard and about 20 other good hiding places. I also left a glass balanced on the door (unfortunately this old gag didn't work because the glass fell behind the door when he opened it). As you can imagine i was REALLY pissed off with him by this point and had driven myself really angry so i took out his bottle of milk from the fridge and attempted to jizz in it, unfortunately, i lost my bottle halfway through, put the milk back and ran the fuck out of his house.

as you can imagine, slowly his parents kept on slowly finding more and more shit once they had returned because the twat of a host didn't look very thoroughly whilst clearing up.

I think he was grounded for a very long time.

Twat.
(Brian-Molko, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 19:46, Reply)

Goblins!
Well, Seeing as I'm just 19 and have been living in a flat with my best mate for the past year the stories are too numerous to count... However a notable one from around this time last year:

My mate R is particurlaly tolerant of spirits, and so was used to drink some fairly foul cocktails, this party he exceeded himself with a mix of EVERY alcoholic substance in the house in a pint glass... I drank about half of the second one and we proceeded to make our way into the street outside, which has those cool bollards that squish when you jump on them... something we found highly entertaining right up until the police came to say hello... Cue a drunken stagger (with me being chased by the lazy one in the car! b*stard...) and promptly being caught and mildly told off...

We return to the flat (at this point his mum was still living there, so we were stuck in his room). One of our mates (as a joke) suggests "hey, R can i punch your bedroom wall?"

R says yes.

Error. Especially as its a hardboard wall... someone actually stuck their head through it, and there was a large amount of punching... The next morning we had a clinically psycotic (ok, maybe not clinically, but she has smashed her way into rooms with a fire extnguisher for very little cause...) mother screaming away merrily and threating to kill us all.. oh the joys :)

Oh, and one final tip: mix a shot of Blue Balls with a shot of vodka and a bottle of reef and a bottle of blue WKD in a pint glass for the BEST cocktail ever, called a Green Goblin, if you get the mix right it'll practically glow. The best bit? No hangover whatsoever and iof course the uber taste... :D

Apologies for length, you may understand why I tend to lurk...
(errrggghhhh should be doing something else, but what was it?!, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 18:25, Reply)

A couple of weeks ago
I attended a teenage party at my friend's enormous house. I had things to do the next morning, so I went easy on the beer (though not too easy), and as such can remember how much of an idiot everyone else was.

Being more lads than girls there, and the lads being all around 16, there were inevitably hormone-fuelled fights. Most notable was when one guy tried to do a flying drop-kick to my friend, who was also for one reason or other relatively sober and also happens to be a black-belt in karate. Of course, my friend defended himself, but rather too emphatically, and the prospective drop-kicker went flying down the four stairs behind him onto a fat bloke who was sitting there feeling morose and minding his own business. Luckily both of them were fine, although the fat bloke was too drunk to know much about it, and the person who had done the attacking went round proudly telling everyone how he had fallen down loads of stairs. By the end of the evening, I understand, he claimed to have fallen down eight flights, which was no doubt very imptressive.

In addition to this was the bloke who turned up in a bad but expensive suit, got it drenched by standing outside in the driving rain, ignoring everyone advising him to come inside, and spent the entire night speaking in an appauling irish accent, despite having less than no irish heritage.

You get some classy people coming to our parties.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 17:48, Reply)

Is it just me...
or is that aint a monkey thats my wife a complete twunt?

Rhetorical question there, we all know he is.

So I don't threadwaste, quick story. I learnt not to mix my drinks, not to drink on an empty stomach, and found out i'm a lightweight all in the same night. Oh dear. I loudly announced I was going to slide down the host's very steep and very hard stairs, did so, and woke up in the morning sans hangover but with a completely bruised body, literally almost all of it was blue.
Ow.

And a nice woman on the tube helped me get home. I fell over trying to avoid throwing up on her. Still don't know how I bought my tube ticket, I couldn't even stand up.
(Gat Bandish I've got wood in my soul, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 16:06, Reply)

I deserved it...
...i'd filled up my mates sink with vomit, and then left the taps running when i left. It was the least he could do.


(ihatethehackers, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 15:59, Reply)

SAS? bunch of girls
Pubs, club, chunder then taxi back to friend’s house in Hereford…

up to this point was a regular night out. Get back to friend’s house and more booze and weed is consumed. Tubs (no points for guessing why he has this nickname) fell asleep on top of a glass table, I think there is a photo somewhere of him being T-bagged by the owner of the house. Not sure if the smell/slight remnants of nad sweat contributed to him then waking up and being sick all over himself, glass table then a flower bed, but that was when the night really started.

Someone decided that we should go down to the SAS barracks in Hereford (for all the yanks reading, the SAS are our army chappies who are pretty good). Being grown-up, mature and safety conscious adults nobody wanted to drink and drive. After a short discussion, the soberest of the group was found (note that soberest is a VERY relative term). Unfortunately he was the only one without a driving license. 5 of us then pile into one car and proceed to give him his first driving lesson. For reasons that escape me we were all in fancy dress by this point – not sure how that happened, seems to be a regular drunken thing though.

15 min later and we have completed the 5 min drive to the barracks. Think we tried to pull up with a flashy handbrake turn but this isn’t so impressive when performed at 5 mph. The outside of the barracks is then stormed by a ginger rasta, a Mexican in drag, a hooker, a 70s porn star, and a very shaky 17-year old learner driver. Somehow we managed to steal one of the large signs warning trespassers of the threat of guard dogs. Don’t really remember the drive back, but do remember returning in triumph with said sign.

I still cant believe that we weren’t arrested/shot/killed in a car crash.

Note to all future terrorists – Forget khaki combats; a mini-skirt and sombrero are much more effective camouflage.
(Digstar fu#king loves biscuits, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 15:30, Reply)

Bowel obstruction
Well... as my first B3TA post, it may as well be an embarassing one.

So I went to a party, some people I didnt know there, some people who annoyed me and really not enough to drink. You know how it is, you start on the cider, that goes, so you move on to beer, and by then you're so smashed that it doesn't matter what you drink.

I'd got bored, so decided to to see just what my system could take. Combine this with drunkenness, and you'll start to see where we're headed.

I started off eating an orange- not too rad, really, but it had the entire skin on, so it wasn't that nice. Then I wanted to try some garlic, so I ate three of four cloves of that. My alchohol inpregnated brain told me it was fun, so then I fell over. Possibly, I can't remeber. After that I got up again.

After a bit of fun involing water on sleeping people, we started playing drinking games. Now, since no one could rember any, we decided to play "Fill mugs with vodka and drink them quickyl game". Since I already had a pretty good start on every else, having by this time consumed 3 beers, four ciders, most of a bottle of cheap wine, half a bottle of whisky and some vodka, I started falling over fairly regualry.

I did it very stylishly though, saying "Excuse me for a bit, lads", collpasin with and almighty crash then getting back up a bit later. I also played the piano at this time, and someone humped me.

Then we started playing monopoly. Someone was beating me, or sometihng, so I ate his piece (the car) and washed it down with some coke, followed by vodka. I was then bet "You can't eat the entire set, if you can I'll give you £30". Now that was hard to turn down, I have good faith in my digestive system. And it fit in with my ealier actions, so I though, what the hell.

So there I am, eating monopoly, passing out for around a minute every now and again and drinking vodka. I get all the metal pieces, all of the house and half of the chance card before sometihng feels strange. I have a go at the main board, but that is bloody thick and I can't chew it. After that I dirnk some more drink, and try to find a nice pair of boobies to sleep on. I can't rember if I did, though I imagine I filed because I woke up at around four to find myself on a concrete floor in a room somewhere. I also felt *really* sick. So, I went to find the toilet.

After standing on somepeople as I blundered around, I found the pisser. Then I was sick init. This I repeated about 6 times before morning.

Then I woke up, and while managing to keep both the tea I had and some toast down, I didnt feel too good. I think I was still durnk, to be honest.

So I get home and collaps on the couch. I'm there for 12 hours. I'm sweating like a pig, have a bitch of a headache and I can't move. Literally, I'm paralysed. I stay in this kind of state for around three days, not shitting, eating or moving. My parents decided that I've come down with flu.

Then they discover the metal bus in the toilet. That took some explaining.
(snafle my bijingo please, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 15:15, Reply)

I was always that cunt..
.. who used to steal and break things.

I used to carry various screwdrivers to parties with me.

The most memorable time was when i reduced washing machine to its component parts and spread it around the owners house. (This was fairly easy as my dad used to fix them and id go to work with him for booze money). Later that night I stole every hinge, even ones from kitchen cupboards etc. Ive still got 1 somewhere.

Theres lots more but thats the one im most proud of.
(Cockfosters!, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 14:54, Reply)

Arrogance
In halls last year, me and my flatmates had a particular party/drinking game called arrogance. The rule is that you tip into the communal glass how much you think you can neck, toss a coin, if you call correctly, the glass moves on to the next person who fills it up a bit more with their own drink, repeat until some poor bastard has to neck a rank mixture of drinks.

One rather boozy party, a group of friends turned up with the only drinks they could scavenge from their parents house, which we porceded to use for a game of arrogance. I ended up drinking a pint which consisted of 1/3 white vermouth, 1/3 red vermouth, and 1/3 tesco value lager (2%, tastes awful).

Ended up spewing a lovely pinkinsh shade (with fizzy bubbles in it) in my girlfriends kitchen sink. Woo.
(himseelf, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 14:51, Reply)

friend of mine told me a story about a friend of his
not sure if its true or not but still funny. apparently his mate had a house party and kept checking that no one was haveing sex in his bedroom like every 5 mins and he was being a real pain in the arse about then when he checked his room at the end of the night for couples he found that someone had done a big steamy shit in the middle of his bed. ha ha
(fwack bang on it, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 14:14, Reply)

Couple of Weeks back
I had myself my own little teenage party, equipped with Drink and all that teenage lark. I'm quite insecure about my popularity, and had nightmares that only this disabled kid (who once floored me, by punching me in my Mod target) would turn up. In an effort to get my party "bangin", i invited tooons of people, with hilarious consequences. I had 12 bottles of wine stolen from various hiding places(£120-as if my 160 bottles worth weren't enough), people broke my drums (the faggots), people had full on sex in my bathtub and bed (corrupting the mind of the many innocents), I had the yoboratti enter in their masses, pretending that they knew me, I had the slageratti doing lines of coke off my toilet, broken sofas etc, replacement my Electro/prog music with Kanye West, I had the neighbours call security 6 times, someone vomitted nuts all over my bathroom walls, and then someone vomitted a steamy mess on my porch, which froze overnight. I left my party with some friend. I didn't come back till it was all over.
(PensocraticA, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 13:22, Reply)

Oh dear...
I remember one fateful party where a friend, who had finished off a good part of a bottle of Jack Daniels to himself, needed to throw up. Right now.

So we grabbed the nearest thing to catch it in, which sadly, was a collander. It caught all the bits, but let all the goo and bile dribble onto his carpet and into his shoes.

His face was a picture as it dawned on him what had happened, and it had to be the funniest moment in the whole of the 90s. Shame you weren't all there :/
(Milkshake, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 12:37, Reply)

Don't you forget my chickens
At my first big party at my house when the olds were on holidays I was going strongly until I remembered I had to feed Mum's chickens. I hit my head on the side of the house while riding someone's skateboard down to the chicken coop and spent the rest of the night in a darkened room being fussed over by several of the girls at the party. I think.
(rodgerroop, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 12:10, Reply)

Can't waste that
My first teenage party was at my house and my Mum made massive quantities of punch in a huge vat around 20 gallons. My cousin Evan was curious and pulled himself up on the side of it to inspect. As he balanced his guts discharged its contents into the punch. My Mum came along and gave him a serve, grabbed a jug and skimmed off what vomit she could see and proceeded to slice kabana and put savoury toppings on Jatz biscuits.
(rodgerroop, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 12:03, Reply)

kayliegh raine
basically every house party ive ever been to ive thourhgt what the fuck am i doing here untill i get a good few bevs down my gizzard. well the best teenage party ive ever been to started out like the worst one ive ever been to untill me and all of my mates drank enourmous ammounts of alcohol. basically there was no single birds there that werent single for a reason. so we all decided to get incredably smashed because we wasnt trying to impress any of the girls. after copious ammounts of beer we decide that it would be a good idea to smash up this fat ginger slags house. 2 grands worth of damage later its time to bully the fuck out of her incredibly gay best mate. then out comes the samuri sword and were all asked very politely to leave by a fat ginger maniac wielding a very large sword. ah those were the days were the days. the highlight has to be daniel cooper smashing down her fence.
(fwack bang on it, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 11:31, Reply)

had a party at my house last year
got hold of this bird in my garden then after the girls went drew all over my mate with permanant marker. would have loved to have been there when he explained to his mum that he didnt in fact love big black cock evan though it said on his back my name is stephen and i love big black cock.
(fwack bang on it, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 11:21, Reply)

my first teeneage party
i got over excited and thourght i was invincible, drank enough beer to take down a very large rhino in a very very short ammount of time, passed out in a puddle of my own vomit and missed the rest of the party.
(fwack bang on it, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 11:12, Reply)

Camping in December
On 14th December 2004, 2 friends and I decided to get some speed and cheap wine and camp in another friends back garden/mini-woods type area.

We cut lines in the tent while one girl toasted marshmallows, then owner of the back garden came down with loads of home-grown pot.

We got utterly spanged and I ended up hallucinating that my mate's face had caved in while I was snogging him. Then the tent started to fall apart as there was a force 10 gale outside.

FFS we were camping in the UK in December. *shakes head*
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 11:10, Reply)