Collapsed lung
Ive since had a few more, but the first time.. was pretty scary.

Being told by the doctor that your lung "couldnt be seen" on the X-ray as he chuckled to himself (seriously, we all had a giggle)

"so whats next doc? some pills?"
"nope - we're going to stick a needle in your chest" (still chuckling)

I stop laughing
"seriously now, whats the treatment"

(doctor serious look on face) "we're going to stick a needle in your chest"

Blood drains from my face, Im no good with needles anyway.... but into my chest? I had images in my head of the ending to The Rock.

"will i be put to sleep?" Im now physically shaking
"nah" the doctor says - filling up a syringe with Lidocaine "we will do it right here right now"

Whats worse, he does it right infront of me. on my front. he goes in to the left of my armpit.

"Look away, you wont like this bit" he says... so i try to look away, but its a bit like driving past a road accident, apart from the fact - I was the road accident, and I could feel his syringe entering my chest space. Its a strange sensation seeing things being pushed into a chest... when its your chest. Ever stranger when the begin to open the hole up to allow a garden hose to be pushed in.

"you will feel some tugging now" the doctor said, i could feel blood trickling into my belly button. It felt like someone was tugging on my osophegus.

Then, POP!

Strangely I could hear a fart noise as my lung began to re-inflate. I could breath easier... it felt better.


I have had 4 of these so far... each one as bad as the last.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 14:27, 15 replies)

You are a tall, slim man with dark hair who is under the age of 40 AICMFP.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:04, closed)

I am going for a midget, ginger, black Scotsman with one leg. AICMFP

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:10, closed)

AM is correct on all points

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:14, closed)

That's pneuomthorax aetiology 101 that is.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:18, closed)

your either a doctor, have had this happen to you or someone you know ...
or your are just incredibly boring
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:19, closed)

*starts the clock*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:21, closed)

*nicks the clock*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:39, closed)

I tittered.

(SlantedScience, Wed 11 Apr 2012, 1:42, closed)

fuck, that's nasty
was told a couple of years ago i had a punctured lung. an hour later, i was told it was a collapsed lung. after being barely able to breathe for 6 hours, i finally got seen to.
it was a sodding chest infection.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 15:32, closed)

Oh, stop
talking about tits.
(username failed moderation, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 16:13, closed)

You got a good seeing to?
That's a rare thing round here.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 10 Apr 2012, 16:14, closed)

it's rare round here, too

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 16:16, closed)

Still, always good to clear out the cobwebs.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 10 Apr 2012, 16:27, closed)

garden hose in the back
I got one of these a few years back cos of phneumonia, fucking student doctor comes in with a nurse, dopes me up, bends me over, nurse holds me down and the fucker starts to push it through my back, in the left lateral muscle, not going in, tries again, nope, i can feel the bastard kneeling on me and forcing the fucking thing in. Nothing. Next day another doctor comes in, says what the fuck and sticks it in first tme under my armpit, away from all the gristle. The clown didnt have a scooby and was doing it all wrong. My back was fucked for months
(liquidspanner, Wed 11 Apr 2012, 16:03, closed)