In a night club in little town called Leeds...
ol' young Halfaxa was dancing away to the classics with soon-to-be mrs. Halfaxa when mutual friend shows up. Pleasantries exchanged, plan to go to the bar made.

Bit of background info on mutual friend, she's been know to be dodgy, bitchy, a part-time sex worker and all round class(less) act but, has been known to be fun so we let it slide.

At the bar I'm leaning at, waiting to be served, mutual friend taps my shoulders and says "Can you git us one too?". I motion yes and make the money symbol with my hand to indicate that I'll need more than what I have on me (£10 note at the moment), a £5 note is pressed into my hand and I turn back around waiting to be served.

Moments later mutual friend pushes next to be and tries to grab all the money in my hand. I turn and ask if she decided she didn't want a drink now, to which she replied yes and I give her the £5 back.

She protests that she gave me the £10 that bad been in my hand since before she came along, I try to calmly explain that no, that was not the case. She told some sob story how that was her only money now to which I explained to her yes, she can have her £5 back, she tries grabbing my money out my hand again and then pushes my face throwing her £5 on the floor and storming off with the lad who'd be desperately trying to get attention from her all night.

For the rest of the night she screamed liar at me when ever she walked past (having gentlemen buy her drinks for the rest of the night it seems), I left early as I had better things to do with soon-to-be mrs. Halfaxa and to this day we don't talk to her.

The grand irony is that the drink she asked for cost more than £5 and I was going to pay the rest anyway. oh I'm also scottish so I know exactly how much money I have on me, the stupid cunt.

This is more a gripe than a funny story really.
(Halfaxa, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 14:03, 15 replies)

tl;dr - don't hang about with whores

(McChinaman banned, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 15:25, closed)

well obviously.
(Halfaxa, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 15:37, closed)

What's that you say? This isn't a funny story? Well carve 'surprise' into my arse.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 15:55, closed)

Violette Szabo, wasn't it?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 20:35, closed)

Certainly
I'll put it just underneath the "Pay before entry" tattoo
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:13, closed)

What are loving, trusting relationship you two have.
Truly, you are a shining example to us all. Such a pity that you'll both be condemned to burn in the fiery pit for eternity.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:39, closed)

Mmmmm eternity at a barbeque
Sounds good
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:37, closed)

You don't know what irony is, do you?
Hint to a Scot: it's nothing to do with Irn Bru.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 18:30, closed)

In Scotland
Irn Bru is vitamins.
(username failed moderation, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:13, closed)

clicked for
I'm also scottish so I know exactly how much money I have on me, the stupid cunt.
(searlichek, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 18:51, closed)

Well I'm glad we've been able to finally give you some closure on the matter.
I guess the moral of the story is "don't be so poor that when a girl asks you to buy her a drink you have to ask her for money for it".
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 19:29, closed)

Or just 'don't be the sort of pleb who ends up in a club with only a tenner on him'.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 19:34, closed)

'...and being asked by a tuppennny whore to buy her a drink.'

(SlantedScience, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 23:29, closed)

are you mad because she didn't sleep with you or something?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 12 Jan 2014, 23:56, closed)

You should have just given her the tenner you owed her.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 10:13, closed)