QOTM

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 29 Jul 2016, 0:40, 12 replies)

In Summary

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 27 Jul 2016, 18:01, 5 replies)

We're all going to fucking die
These are truly the end times
(A small damp ball of cotton, Mon 25 Jul 2016, 18:06, 6 replies)

you can say what you like about paedophiles, but at least they're not ageist

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 12:50, 10 replies)

Lucky
Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard quaquaquaqua outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathia divine athambia divine aphasia loves us dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Miranda with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell are plunged in torment plunged in fire whose fire flames if that continues and who can doubt it will fire the firmament that is to say blast hell to heaven so blue still and calm so calm with a calm which even though intermittent is better than nothing but not so fast and considering what is more that as a result of the labors left unfinished crowned by the Acacacacademy of Anthropopopometry of Essy-in-Possy of Testew and Cunard it is established beyond all doubt all other doubt than that which clings to the labors of men that as a result of the labors unfinished of Testew and Cunnard it is established as hereinafter but not so fast for reasons unknown that as a result of the public works of Puncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physical culture the practice of sports such as tennis football running cycling swimming flying floating riding gliding conating camogie skating tennis of all kinds dying flying sports of all sorts autumn summer winter winter tennis of all kinds hockey of all sorts penicillin and succedanea in a word I resume flying gliding golf over nine and eighteen holes tennis of all sorts in a word for reasons unknown in Feckham Peckham Fulham Clapham namely concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown but time will tell fades away I resume Fulham Clapham in a word the dead loss per head since the death of Bishop Berkeley being to the tune of one inch four ounce per head approximately by and large more or less to the nearest decimal good measure round figures stark naked in the stockinged feet in Connemara in a word for reasons unknown no matter what matter the facts are there and considering what is more much more grave that in the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman it appears what is more much more grave that in the light the light the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman that in the plains in the mountains by the seas by the rivers running water running fire the air is the same and then the earth namely the air and then the earth in the great cold the great dark the air and the earth abode of stones in the great cold alas alas in the year of their Lord six hundred and something the air the earth the sea the earth abode of stones in the great deeps the great cold on sea on land and in the air I resume for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis the facts are there but time will tell I resume alas alas on on in short in fine on on abode of stones who can doubt it I resume but not so fast I resume the skull fading fading fading and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis on on the beard the flames the tears the stones so blue so calm alas alas on on the skull the skull the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the labors abandoned left unfinished graver still abode of stones in a word I resume alas alas abandoned unfinished the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the skull alas the stones Cunard...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 12:10, Reply)

I once saw Alexei Sayle in the northbound car park of Keele Services on the M6,
but all this EU business is quite serious isn't it.
( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 22:15, Reply)

Any number of people
Any number of people can play Top Trumps, that’s what makes it the world’s coolest card game! Here are instructions on how to play Top Trumps.
To start the game, shuffle and deal all the cards face down. Each player holds their cards so that they can see the top card only.
The player to the dealer’s left starts by reading out a category from the top card (e.g. Height, value 5) The other players then read out the same category from their cards. The one with the best or highest value wins, and that player collects all the top cards, including their own, and moves thione em to the bottom of their pile. It is then their turn again to choose a category from the next card.
If two or more cards share the top value or data is not available for that particular subject then all the cards are placed in the middle and the same player chooses again from the next card. The winner of the hand takes the cards in the middle as well.
The person with all the cards at the end is the winner.

For more instructions on how to play Top Trumps, watch the video below:
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 15 Jul 2016, 2:09, 2 replies)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 14 Jul 2016, 22:04, 1 reply)

Hump my stump to a bloody lump

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Jul 2016, 16:35, Reply)

Christ

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 13 Jul 2016, 22:00, Reply)

Like many Leavers I feel betrayed out our leaders' promises, as it turns out Brexit might get rid of the turnip eaters, but won't do anything about the darkies as we'd been led to believe

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 13 Jul 2016, 13:35, 4 replies)

Your government -
Like a bunch of half-grown toffs on a lark. Now they shamelessly excuse themselves, leaving the women to clean up the mess.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 13 Jul 2016, 1:38, 2 replies)

Imagine a cartoon showing the UK ramming an EU farming subsidy up Carl Junker's arse

( $$ ✅, Tue 12 Jul 2016, 11:41, 1 reply)

I saw a hilarious satirical cartoon in the New Statesman at the weekend, satirising EU farming policies.
It was hilarious.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 12 Jul 2016, 7:45, Reply)

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Jul 2016, 15:31, 1 reply)

If we leave the EU
Will I still be able to get my neck burnt in France?
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Wed 6 Jul 2016, 13:17, 3 replies)

Alright, so what's GOOD about the EU?
I'll play devil's advocate just to keep things antagonistic
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 6 Jul 2016, 7:27, 25 replies)

well
i'll have to get the ferry
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 3 Jul 2016, 16:43, 4 replies)

er dunno
its too soon to tell what will change , but i liked being part of something , something that didnt really take the money side over other stuff , eu regulations kind of stopped companies fucking up the beaches , made them clean the stuff being pumped into the air , made respecting the workforce - especially temps and part timers and pregnant women a good thing , if you qualified you could go to any university you wanted , work in any job anywhere you wanted , live where you wanted , if you got sick on that stag do in amsterdam you could get fixed . nationality was becoming something anyone could choose , not just rich actors , why should i remain english/french/polish etc if i dont want to be just because of an accident of birth? and now it seems all that will go and ill be left in england being english and thats all i or my children will ever have , unless we get stupidly rich and can then afford to choose what we do...... i know , i live in cloud cuckoo land , but i liked it there. there are cuckoosand i like cuckoos.
(theandychrist, Sat 2 Jul 2016, 18:46, Reply)