Chinos
Last year went camping with a few other families for the August Bank Holiday. I purchased some wonderfully bright cream chino's especially for the event.

The tent went up a treat, the campfire was roaring and the lukewarm beer was flowing. The chino's looked just the part. A few beers later and I felt, what I thought would be a rather audible botty cough coming. Hoping for a fantastic humerous response I offered my finger to my fellow campers to pull.

Upon pulling I squeezed with all my might, to get the best sound... I was confused rather than the sound of ripped curtains, I, and all the other campers just heard a dull squelch, then silence.

That's right I had just followed through whilst wearing a pair of unblemished cream chinos. I was hoping that it wouldn't have shown through, but I was sadly mistaken. It left an almighty mess.

Emptying out your own mess from said chinos into a portaloo at 1am isn't much fun I can tell thee.

The next day the in-laws came to visit us at the campsite. Which was very nice. When they came to leave the mother-in-law asked if there was any washing we wanted doing, without thinking my wife passed over the carrier bag containing my shit-stained-chinos. She washed them and gawd bless her, never mentioned it.

I supposed that will teach me for thinking Cream Chinos are in any way acceptable.
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:42, 20 replies)

Have you ever tried wearing them to a christening?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:45, closed)

No, what happens?

( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:52, closed)

This
b3ta.com/questions/dad/post986596
Not quite chinos but still inappropriate trousers for the occasion.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:37, closed)

That was hilarious.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:40, closed)

WHY MUST THEY DICTATE MY TROUSERS TO ME? WHY?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:48, closed)

I've just read the whole thread again it was that good.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:48, closed)

Epic thread!

( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 21:22, closed)

Ah. One of the Classics.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 1 Apr 2012, 19:09, closed)

As a former wearer of cream chinos
I salute you, sir!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:46, closed)

you both deserve to die in a fire.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:50, closed)

Then I would be wearing black chinos?

( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:54, closed)

better dead than chinos.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:56, closed)

Reminds me a bit of a mate who on a first date brought his white cat-suit wearing date out for a quick pint in the sun.
No sooner had they sat on the bench outside the pub than he knocks his full pint of Guinness all over her lovely garment turning it more or less immediately see-through, with a shitty Guinness hue.

The girls went indoors to help her dry off and my mrs told me that she was wearing some gorgeous matching underwear that was also guinness stained.

He *was* initially on a promise. As it turned out he got dumped.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:50, closed)

That'll teach HIM for drinking Guinness.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:01, closed)

I thought
only Merkins where chino's these days? Still well done for attracting everyones attention before shitting yourself, a friend of ours did exactly the same thing and it's still talked about many years later. Have a click !
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:30, closed)

hahaha, its the only way to shit yourself.

( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:42, closed)

haha indeed
A wise man once said -

If a man shits himself in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make it funny?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 17:13, closed)

CLICK
A proper life lesson here.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 19:39, closed)

Friend of mine went on
honeymoon to the Maldives.

She is a bit of a farter, it has to be said.

Apprently one day, sitting for breakfast in a bikini on the terrace by the pool at their hotel, she decided to let a sneaky fart go, and managed to let rip a rather large outpouring of somewhat squitty shit all over the white chair she was sitting on.

Had to borrow new husbands shirt to wrap around her waist, so she could return to room with dignity for cleanup. She could do nothing about the chair, had to leave that to a presumably rather miffed maintenance department.
(username failed moderation, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 9:18, closed)

Haha!
That's ace.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 11:23, closed)