Pearoast from the captain
As I am a salesman (what's the difference between a salesman and a rep I hear you ask? About £20k/yr) I use the road system a LOT. One day a few years ago I was stopped on the slip from the M69 on to the M1 by the police. There were about 8-10 cars all stopped with 3 police cars at the front. I noticed while waiting that all of the cars were newish mondeo/vectra/passat types with single occupants all in suits. Sales types.
So! When the noddy PC arrived at my car I wound down the window. He stuck his head in and asked, very politely "Good morning sir, sorry for the inconvenience but, can I ask where you're going?" To which I replied, equally politely "no officer".
He appeared taken aback somewhat and said "pardon?".
The conversation went like this from then on
"No I won't tell you where I'm going"
"Sir I must ask you again, where are you going?"
"I'm not going to tell you"
After several rounds like this the Johnny-no-stars PC (I still have his collar number) went to get reinforcements.
Over waddled a Sergeant. Sergeant says "Sir, we require to know where you're going"
I replied "Unless you tell me why, I'm not going to tell you".
By this time quite a queue had formed behind me and something of an audience was earwigging.
Sergeant spoke on his taking brooch for a little while. A higher-ranking policeman turned up, somewhat younger than both coppers (and myself!)
"Be reasonable sir, we only want to know where you're going" said the young officer "and, if you'd take my advice and answer you'll get to your destination a lot quicker".
I calculated that enough of a crowd had formed by this time and, as I was out of the car by now, it was time to let them have it.
"RIGHT! You may ask my name and address. You may ask to see the documents for the car. You may ask to see my driving licence. However, as a freeborn Englishman on the Queen's highway going about my lawful business YOU MAY NOT ASK WHERE I'M GOING".
They appeared a tad crestfallen by this time. To add insult to injury I then said "Now are you going to tell me why I and all of these motorists have been stopped? Or am I going to call your Chief Constable?"
The three were standing like naughty schoolboys at this point.
One piped up (to glares from the others) "We're checking that you've budgeted enough time for your journey"
THAT. WAS. IT.
I replied very icily and loudly enough so that the other drivers could hear
"You mean to say that I and these other drivers are being held on suspicion of "driving with intent to speed"!?" "As far as I am aware there is no such offence officers and, unless you are going to arrest me, get out of my way". After scrutinising my documents and the car (4 days old)and finding nothing untoward they obviously decided that discretion was the better part of valour and were about to wave me on (I had all their collar numbers by now) As they trudged defeated to their cars, I wound down the window and as a final remark I said to the young ranking officer "by the way, as to taking your advice? I own shoes older than you!".
I could see him in the rear view mirror, shoulders slumped, with his two cronies giggling behind him as I drove away.
Cheered me up no end!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 22:57, 22 replies)

Love it,
Loved it when you first posted it too.

Click!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 0:21, closed)

Hahahaha
This is bloody brilliant, well played *click*
(Cloudane, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 0:30, closed)

Now that's as good as it gets.
"I own shoes older than you!" I'm going to have to use that someday. *click*
(The 2-Belo OH SHI--[Sound of impact][End of recording], Fri 18 Jun 2010, 0:32, closed)

I'd have believed it more...
if you had rung the Chief Constable.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:26, closed)

The irony is of course
that had they not stopped everyone, they would have had more time for their journeys and been less likely to speed.

I like this!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:37, closed)

Never fucking happened
I'll bet a good deal of money you mumbled "sorry officer im just going to the shops" then meekly drove off

what a load of nonsense
(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:44, closed)

I really hope this is an Accord post.
If not, well ... It's not the lying, here that bothers me. Well, it does, but I'm kind of immune to it now. It's that somebody (well, judging from the replies, more than one person) actually thinks that if someone did this it would be big and clever, as opposed to the kind of behaviour I'd be disappointed in a toddler for. I'd happily support any change in the law that allowed people who even thought this kind of thing was a good idea to be taken round the back of a gavver wagon for a good solid kicking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:06, closed)

I didn't want to tell him I was off to Harrods to replace the toys I'd thrown out of my pram earlier in the week
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:44, closed)

also... it's the first two replies that are the most depressing

(likeajackhammer, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:45, closed)

you write like a nob. i hope you don't actually talk like that. you'd sound like a nob.
nob.
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:23, closed)

as a freeborn n00b on the queen's super information highway I find this offensive.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:31, closed)

God speed, noble warrior. Spreading justice and charity wherever you may drive.

(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:45, closed)

lies and honda accord
you're either a dick or a liar.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:50, closed)

"what's the difference between a salesman and a rep I hear you ask? About £20k/yr"
I'm going for "a dick"
( BindiBaji, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:56, closed)

I once said no at a traffic survey - but wasn't so inconsiderate as to cause a queue
Plod was there to direct small groups of cars off the road into a layby for the DoT dweeb to ask us questions. I was unfortunate enough to be in a group that was chosen, but was pissed off at the pointless inconvenience.
So when said dweeb asked me,"We are conducting a traffic survey, would you tell me where you're travelling to today?" my reply was a simple "No."
Dweeb was somewhat confused by this, so I just told him I didn't wish to participate in the survey, wound my window up and sat there patiently until Plod let us all drive off.
Do I believe officialdom has a right to question me as I go about my lawful business? No.
Does that mean I'm a cunt? Possibly.
Do I care? No.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:13, closed)

wow...
it's like you've written a concise summary of the story above...
and managed to not sound like a complete minge
(likeajackhammer, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:45, closed)

wow
I don't really understand the negativity here.

A person is deliberately stopped, without reasonable suspicion, as they go about their lawful business. He declines, politely enough, to participate in what is effectively a survey. They continue to detain him as they escalate up the ranks. Keep in mind that he can't just drive away, in case he gets landed with Failure To Stop or something.

Please also consider that he's at work here; so by their actions he and all the others could be missing appointments, losing income, getting home late. They are potentially applying pressure upon them to commit motoring offences: drive too fast (as they have to make up for lost time); or drive tired (as their entire schedule is set back, his working day extended). Arguably, their actions amount to entrapment.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:09, closed)

as a FREEBORN ENGLISH MAN ON THE QUEENS HIGHWAY
he clearly knows his rights.

He's still a dick.
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, closed)

I don't understand
The police were polite enough, yes it sucks to get stopped when you need to be somewhere, but why not answer the question? Why be so rude?
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, closed)

^ I second this
Stop shooting at people with your tiny little cock, answer the question and move on, tosser.
(MrNorm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:53, closed)