I don't really care either way how other people raise (or don't raise) their kids
it was mostly to wind up the angry spastics that infest this place

Thanks for playing!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:29, 5 replies)

You're certainly well qualified to judge angry spasticity on here,
as you can be reduced to howling frustrated mouth-foaming within 3 posts. Every. Single. Time. without fail. You['re a leading expert on the subject.

BTW No-one wants to play with you, I'm afraid - because your toys all reek of minge.

Soz m8 x x x x x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:47, closed)

Oh and that's a textbook Legless Defence, flawless follow through for a perfect 6.0 from the judges.
Back to you in the studio, Dave.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:55, closed)

Thanks Bryan. We were hoping now to get some comments from Legless about the tactical use of that defence,
Unfortunately he's put everyone on 2.0.

So back to you.

Cheers.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:11, closed)

Sick burns really do seem to lack a little something when delivered by Willow Ufgood.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18, closed)

Well Dave, in an exciting twist we appear to have had a spectator run onto the field!
As we understand it, he broke through the safety barriers by pinning a steward to a wall in what appears to be a Honda Accord, and is now using the foam that fell from emvee's mouth during his dismount as some kind of lubricant for a- Yes, I can confirm that he is now having a pokey bum wank on the field, in front of literally tens of spectators. Never in my twenty minutes as an Internetball commentator have I seen anything that has brought so much shame to the sport. Truly this is a dark day for Internetball.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39, closed)

Unfortunately, possessing a Jimmy Hill chin doesn't actually make you a commentator.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:53, closed)

Oh dear Andy, he doesn't appear to be adding much to this match does he? He's just flailing about a bit aimlessly in the hope that it'll help his team.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)

The referees have long since abandoned the match here, there'll be no sendings off today.
Some would say that the game has been doomed since former wunderkind and "King of the Game" Legless trolled himself into an early retirement, costing this team their star player and captain. Without him, tactics have all but vanished.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:34, closed)

If you're not VERY careful, I'll write a snarky little note about you in my profile.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:32, closed)

I'm intrigued as to what I'm supposed to be "defending"
I was just hoping a few of you would line up so I could call you stupid pricks

Again, thanks for playing!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43, closed)

"Aha, but it is I who have trolled you, foul wretch!" typed Emvee the Brave, squinting to see the screen through tear-filled eyes.
Pulling out a Transformers^TM handkerchief to wipe away the pain, he noticed that this particular one featured Optimus Prime. Feeling his anger return, he balled the cheap rag into his fist and flung it across the room, bellowing "YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN MY TOP TEN!"
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:06, closed)

Good, good...I can feel your anger.
Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)

Get that yoda mask and toy lightsaber away from me, I know where they've been.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:29, closed)

See, I've never owned a Yoda mask
So you're just copying Monty there...too stupid to think up your own "jokes" so you have to borrow them from someone who's (unbelievably) even thicker than you are. Bless.

*pats head*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:41, closed)

I was going off the picture on your site of a lass up a tree wearing a yoda mask.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:03, closed)

The stupid cunt doesn't even know his OWN flidgrot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:13, closed)

That is a spectacular word.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:16, closed)

*emails OED*

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 7:08, closed)

Which doesn't exist, soz
You must have invented it in your little head. Bless.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:28, closed)

It's almost as if Tumblr doesn't provide any way to delete ideologically unsound content.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:00, closed)

Okay, let's do this again:
Do you see anything at:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Yoda

Yet we have:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Boba_Fett
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Stormtrooper
and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Light_saber

and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Star_Wars

C'mon, internet detectives, if we have a picture of a girl up a tree in a Yoda mask, where is it?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:03, closed)

If it's been deleted, it will be nowhere.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:25, closed)

Strange, though, that nothing else we've ever posted has been deleted?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:30, closed)

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:33, closed)

Nah, fuck, I got nothing to hide
I found tapiture.com/image/i-left-my-toys-out-8 by googling, because, duh, that's not that hard.

It's not a picture we took, I have no idea where it came from. We may have reposted it at some point, but we've reposted thousands upon thousands of random tumblr pictures, because...uh, tumblr.

I'm terribly sorry if certain posters on this site took this to be representative of our material. But they'd be fucking morons to do that, obviously.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:54, closed)

Why do you hate women?
Why do you endorse (or at least, fail to condemn) the degradation of women by stunted manchildren with cameras?

Most importantly, why have you not had yourself castrated?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:18, closed)

Did shambone do a ninj-delete?
I worry about his blood pressure sometimes.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:22, closed)

I suspect he might have done, but the collateral damage from such a sneaky manoeuvre would have been somewhat marginal in comparison to the consequences of letting the entirety of the original thread remain in its place unedited.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:28, closed)

Yeah, he did. I worry about his crippling insecurity, a little - it must be hard, to have such a burning need to seem superior, and so little ability to carry it off.

I'm not at home at the moment, but I suspect that my PC still has a window open with the previous incarnation of this thread still displayed. If it does, I might screencap it.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:37, closed)

Here we go.

Oh, and this was the link in which he expressed his true feelings.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:47, closed)

Cheers, HP.
Fuck Nell! He and I are the same age?

I had him in either his early teens or his late sixties.
Makes me feel quite introspective.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 10 Feb 2013, 4:38, closed)

Only chronologically. I gather that his mental age stopped incrementing many, many years ago.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 11:54, closed)

We need to buy him some sharper toys for his birthday.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 9:06, closed)

Oh, emv!
How could you stoop so low?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:26, closed)

personally, I care about people hitting kids whether they are mine or not.
but even if you don't only a moron thinks that hitting or drugs are the only options.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:27, closed)

I asked which was more humane
Only a moron would infer that those were the only two options available to them but again, thanks for playing!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46, closed)

Oh do get fucked you tedious little man.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:55, closed)

Which are better, apples or oranges?
You moron! How dare you suggest that there are only two kinds of fruit!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:58, closed)

You are much much much too thick to carry this sort of thing off.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:50, closed)

Cheers.
You know ... the conventional finish to a Legless defence is to fuck off and never come back. Whenever you're ready.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:44, closed)