Kids say the shittiest thingsSmudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Child abuse extravaganza II - Electric Boogaloo!From The Tales of The Wife:
She works in a care center for *ahem* Special Needs children.
They have everything. A kid that bites any- and everything, including humans, and will draw blood if you don't literally throw her off.
Another kid that is psychologically unable of defending himself - you can slap him all day and he won't even move (makes a nice combo with the biter)
A kid that paints with feces. On other people.
And finally, the hypersexualized four-year-old swearotron 2000.
This story is about the last one.
On his first day, as he was being led to the building, he saw two workers replacing a window that one of the kids had smashed in a fit of six-year-old rage. He looks at them, they look at him, and out come the words... 'Hey carpet muncher, what's that you're doing there?' Problem is that they came out of the kid, not the workmen.
Other gems include: 'Fuck you fuck you fuckyou fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou!!!', crawling under a woman's skirt and touching her minge ('Like we do with my sister'), admitting to watching porn _with his mom and siblings_, aparrently knowing what a hot carl is, and furious tries at masturbation in any setting imaginable.
The things kids say (and do) if you break them enough...
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 5:56, 14 replies)
My missus used to work in a children's respite house for kids with physical and intellectual disabilities.She had the kid from Kalgoorlie who used to be left outside at home with the dogs. Asking her not to dig holes in the garden was interesting. There was the man mountain who pinched her on the boob - he brought about finding her breast cancer and it's early removal, so swings and round-about.
My fave was MattyD, a young man so severely bent by CP that you would think things were awful for him - on the contrary, taking him down to the pub (with his parents blessing) to have a few beers and watch the footy was always an interesting time. Matty liked a drink did Matty!
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 7:18, closed)
Those were the days...Today, she, the barman, the parents, and some guy who was just passing by would get an ASBO at the very least for underage pubishness :(
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 19:37, closed)
A care centre for special needs children?You mean /offtopic?
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 8:36, closed)
NoBut something very similar. Kind of like /ot, but with real violence and less honda.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 19:36, closed)
The world truly is a strange and ponderous place.www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hot%20Carl/Karl
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 9:15, closed)
I was hoping that someone would 'fess up to knowing what it was,without reference to UD, thus exposing themselves for the deviant that we all knew them to be.
Oh well. I still can't escape that nagging suspicion that 90% of all sexual practices listed on UD are just things that people have invented in the hope that some gullible mug will then try it out.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 24 May 2013, 9:54,
closed)
Take it you've never tried a Frank Sparkler then.(, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:37, closed)
Not sure what means...Is this an in-joke or just stupidity?
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 19:34, closed)
They're coming round the trackto haunt me!
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 10:54, closed)
Ongar(, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:22, closed)
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