My Landlord
His name is Murray and works for JDR property services in the granite city of Aberdeen. I'm telling you this as a warning to anyone who may have/be dealing with him, and I think he's a twat.

I moved into a flat at the start of the year and soon noticed several things, rotting window frames, leaky roof and a washing maching that had a split personality.

Anyway, he promises to fix these thing as the year goes on as "Out of the 12 flats I own, this one is in the worst state". I asked for the washing machine to be fixed a while ago, 3 months later and I get a call saying I have a new washine machine. Bollocks, its a second hand job from a charity shop. Asked for a draughty window to be fixed, 6 months later I'm informed the window has been fixed. Info for you Murray, cocooning a window frame in silicon sealant so its sealed shut and can't open so I cant vent the vile smell left behind, DOES NOT constitute fixing it! Golf clap for that man! The roof still leaks and now he wants to put the rent up for next year.

Tight git. I'm gonna leave a steaming 3 coiler in the lounge when I leave.
(Krizla6.9, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:10, 8 replies)

landlords
I hate it when landlords are dicks - but you just have to be persistent until he does what you want. If he is cutting corners then I am sure you have comeback on his sorry ass.

Our landlord is really good - seems to fix everything immediately. We also have a draughty window or two as well as a couple of other niggles... feel bad constantly asking him for stuff but its what he should do, its in the contract that he has to do it and we pay him bloody good money to do it too!

Don't coil one out in the lounge when you leave - too obvious... hide it somewhere, maybe stuffed into a fish then craftily hid behind somewhere.

Mmmmmm shitty fish nom nom nom.
(Spangulum nailing your mother since 1824, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:25, closed)

Are you
my brother? He's in a similar state with the same landlord.

Another to avoid: I Jamal in Dundee.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:50, closed)

I live in Aberdeen
and every landlord here appears to be a complete fucker.

Top tip though for having a game of Where's Tommy?

Take a shit on some cling film, freeze it and before you move out use a cheese grater to sprinkle it over the carpet and any soft furnishings. Once it starts to melt the smell is impossible to budge. And the freezer will stink of shit.

Just saying...
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:10, closed)

Your deviousness is appealing
It's a pity we've already had a Revenge Stories QOTW...
(annexed, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:31, closed)

Leave prawns in the curtain pole thingy
I read a story on the internets about that.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:11, closed)

That rings a bell...
Wasn't it about some guy was dumped and had to leave, so he put prawns in the curtain poles. His ex and her new guy couldn't trace the smell so managed to sell the house...then took the curtain poles with them to their new place.

heh...justice
( snee held his breath since, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 18:48, closed)

The only problem
with doing any of that revenge stuff is that there's a good chance it will manifest itself before he coughs up the deposit.

I sincerely doubt he would pay back the deposit/bond as you hand back the key and will probably hang on to it for a month providing he doesn't do a forensic sweep of the place and find reasons not to give you it back.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:38, closed)

Research
I was researching this the other month., and I'm pretty sure that deposits have to be given back within 14 days of moving out, and have to be kept in a secure "fund" so that it can't disappear overnight, otherwise the landlord/letting company can be find around £3000.

In Edinburgh, if the deposit is not returned in 14 days, the landlord can have the HMO licence revoked.
( mister.f is now married, Sat 25 Oct 2008, 17:04, closed)