I buy Sainsbury's
value toilet roll. It's only 37p for four rolls. I'm only going to wipe the shit off my arse with it.

At least it's Sainsbury's and not Lidl!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:52, 14 replies)

It's false economy though, surely
As you need to use loads more of it. And value bog roll usually has larger diameter cardboard tubes, cheeky bastards.

When I was at uni and used value bog roll, every time I came back to my parents' house (they're Andrex/Charmin etc users) I'd reel off my usual length of bog roll to wipe my arse and end up with a lump of it about the size of my head.

These days I go for supermarket own brand not value stuff and it seems to last longer.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:58, closed)

I am that tight
that I checked the price per sheet. Still cheaper!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 19:14, closed)

^^ This times a million
Sounds like I led the same life as you when it comes to bog roll. Except I realised it whilst I was house sharing but my twatish housemate didn't.
(fluffytail, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 20:33, closed)

I'm a skinflint too
But there's little room for compromise when it comes to loo paper.

Aldi moisturised bog roll isn't ruinously expensive and is vastly superior to most brands of low rent bum-wipe. Apparently.

Alternatively, you might have good results by remembering to leave a roll in the fridge overnight before contemplating that Arson Fire Napalm Vindaloo at the local tandoori.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:00, closed)

Wet Wipes
are your friend young padoin.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:02, closed)

Refrigerated
wet wipes are better.

*edit* Allegedly!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:03, closed)

*bows down*
We are truly not worthy
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:05, closed)

Arsewipe
Ah, I remember this useful piece of marketing from back in the day here
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:06, closed)

Farmers
Not wise if you have bum grapes however. Asda-brand aloe-vera wetwipe things are ace.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:20, closed)

i thought exactly the same thing......
.....until i started getting an incredibly itchy bumcrack.

As my grandmother says "the bad taste of the rotten apple lasts longer than the joy at getting it cheaply"

substitute "apple" for "bumhole" and i think you will begin to see what i mean.
(Papa Chocolat, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:44, closed)

are you sure
you were using toilet paper and not loft insulation?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:46, closed)

The bad taste of the rotten bumhole lasts longer than the joy at getting it cheaply?
Urgh.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 19:10, closed)

I
think a scraping motion with a spoon is best. You can reuse it. Better for the environment too. Forks are not so good.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 20:03, closed)

even cheaper
I always try to have a shit at work and save using the toilet roll at home.
(javpanda, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:47, closed)