
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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by putting some ginger up her bum.
( , Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:33, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

makes ideal 'Quorn' if you cant be arsed to pander to those freaky vegetarians that come round for dinner now and again.
( , Fri 29 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Is much cheaper than the 25 quid the vet charges to have your dog put down.
( , Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:59, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

- Hollow out the ugly fruit
- Talk into it.
( , Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:17, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

- Rub inner side of the skin all over your shoes.
- Gently polish off with a soft clothe.
Instructions with pictures: www.wikihow.com/Polish-Shoes-with-a-Banana
( , Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:31, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

by introducing a system similar to nectar points so that they may save up and earn treats for themselves. Have a tariff of extra bonus points for premium acts of blow-jobbery such as swallowing and deep throating.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 23:38, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Make anonymous witness' statements more amusing in two ways-
1. If The voice has to be changed to protect their anonymity, use a ring modulator effect so they sound like a dalek, cylon, whatever...
2. If their statement has to be read out by an actor, make it BRIAN BLESSED. EVEN THE WOMEN.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 20:17, Reply)

makes them easier to whittle.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 19:31, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

make ideal '80s-style mobile phones for pixes, fairies, goblins and elves...
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Put disabled parking spaces as far away from the entrance of the store as possible, to reduce the appeal to able bodied people who want to park in them.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)

for that "freshly washed in cola" feeling when taking a call.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:07, Reply)

who have sunken trenches in their gardens with one side concealed from view...
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:42, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

window sill to make your house smell like cat piss?
then simply aqiure an incontinent old cider lady from the nearest hedge or bench and have live in your house instead
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:31, Reply)

A pot of basil on your window sill is an attractive way of making your house smell of cat piss.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 6:38, Reply)

Don't bother writing a happy birthday message on someones wall. Just wait for someone else to do it and click 'like'.
( , Thu 28 Jul 2011, 0:00, Reply)

by not posting to many toptips in one go
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:54, Reply)

you could be the scunthorpe vagina
or in europe you could be the brest mammory
but back in england you could be the birminingham dirtyfuckingminginglyingbastardthatstolemyfone
or similar
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:54, Reply)

by being fat
just like meatloaf in fact
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:49, Reply)

hiding your baby making lady in your basement.
if you do not have a basement with a secret room just tell any visitors to not look for your basement or baby making lady friend
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:48, Reply)

( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 17:30, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

by staring at it. Saying 'Come on you bastard' may also work.
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:48, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

the new, blonde, 21-year-old temp in your office by agreeing that, you too, like Justin Bieber, and have "got all her records"...
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:38, Reply)

by putting on a Donkey Punch and Judy puppet show.
( , Wed 27 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)
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