
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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...Get every bloke in the country to watch your programme religiously, by simply spending half an hour washing a cucumber.
( , Mon 24 Sep 2012, 22:22, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

( , Mon 24 Sep 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Makes ideal body Armour, if your enemies are only using 'Nerf' guns.
( , Mon 24 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

...by simply filling in the spaces with any old bollocks.
( , Sun 23 Sep 2012, 15:05, Reply)

( , Thu 20 Sep 2012, 13:47, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Also applies to other days of the week.
( , Mon 17 Sep 2012, 20:32, Reply)

by hiding behind trees in the park, and jumping out shouting 'boo'
( , Mon 17 Sep 2012, 16:26, Reply)

by only dating fat, ugly birds. The opposite is posted below...
( , Mon 17 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)

by only dating proper fit birds that get you spanner hard just by eating an ice cream.
( , Mon 17 Sep 2012, 13:34, Reply)

quickly spray them black and nail them to your roof, so people think you actually give a shit about global warning. And think of the savings as you didn't spend 3 grand having proper solar panels attached to your roof.
( , Mon 17 Sep 2012, 13:31, Reply)

( , Fri 14 Sep 2012, 11:37, Reply)

...by suffering from a stroke.
( , Thu 13 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)

try not to do a double take or crack up when you first encounter a woman wearing one of these:

(I managed to keep a poker face, but it was a challenge. Why didn't someone warn me?)
( , Wed 12 Sep 2012, 18:45, 8 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

...by drinking milk, then pooing yourself to death.
( , Wed 12 Sep 2012, 17:08, Reply)

whilst sitting at the computer or a laptop.
( , Wed 12 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)

by calling one 'come' and the other 'stay'.
( , Wed 12 Sep 2012, 13:57, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

...try not to get your ball stuck in a tree. It is painful beyond belief!!
( , Mon 10 Sep 2012, 21:57, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Leave a bag of Revels in the car until they melt, then put them in the fridge for a couple of hours. Hey presto! You'll have one super-Revel containing all the centres, and will be able to eat it in a few quick bites rather than fucking about eating one at a time.
( , Mon 10 Sep 2012, 21:35, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

( , Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Just get a used condom and insert a fish finger!
( , Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:41, Reply)

by mixing in populist circles and passing well observed, caustic and abrasive comment on prominent figures and circumstances of the day.
( , Fri 7 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

... Call your creation,
"Fifty Shades of Grey", and you'll have your very own bestseller! It worked for that E.L James woman!
( , Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:13, Reply)

...That way you won't have to wander around your kingdom, forcing a shoe onto the foot of every woman that you meet.
( , Sun 2 Sep 2012, 14:47, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

...and standing closer to the object that you are viewing.
( , Fri 31 Aug 2012, 23:35, Reply)

...By taking a photograph of yourself holding a walnut.
( , Fri 31 Aug 2012, 22:38, Reply)

By getting married.
( , Tue 28 Aug 2012, 17:00, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Make your sunglasses look like new by putting them in the top of the dishwasher on a low setting. It really works.
This is a recycled tip from Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's Sunday Times column in the late 90s.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 20:54, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Don't put in the whole can just cos it "doesn't look that much", it will taste far too tomatoey and no one will like it and you will feel like a culinary failure
( , Thu 23 Aug 2012, 2:00, Reply)

tastes a lot nicer, and is easier to eat, if you remove the string garnish before eating it. If anything, that just gets in the way...
( , Wed 22 Aug 2012, 18:06, 1 reply, 13 years ago)
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