Are you a young man who likes to wear black, including black collared shirts?
If so, try doing up the collar and sticking a folded piece of A4 in it to create a makeshift dog collar next time you get on the train.

You will get warm smiles from old ladies and authority figures, and might even get pretty girl start chatting to you in a relaxed fashion, whereby once you've got her interested, you can whip it off and tell her it was just for a bit of a laugh.

This may not have the intended result of her wanting to sleep with you, however.

EDIT: Of note, this is illegal, and I would never, ever condone breaking the law, obviously.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 13:44, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Get a proper dog collar
Sometimes the armed forces miscalculate how many priestly accoutrements they need for their chaplains and you can buy one of the excess outfits pretty cheaply.

Try your local army surplice shop.
( Ghoti Fingers, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

Why is it illegal?
Is it illegal to impersonate an accountant or a builder too?
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 21:46, Reply)

I dunno - do I look like a lawyer?
Imitating a priest and a police constable - both illegal. I imagine something to do with emergencies involving someone dying, I would think.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:59, Reply)

I think you're confused?
Surely it's acting like a priest and fucking choir boys that's illegal, not dressing as one?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)