Take masturbation
to an almost ruthless level of efficiency with the aid of a vacuum cleaner and a piece of pipe with a bore of approximate 1.5 times the girth of your penis. This will cause it to flap about with great speed, thus inducing ejaculation in well under 45 seconds.

Or almost instantaneously if you're still only about 13. Be sure to put the vacuum cleaner back where you found it before mum comes back from the shops.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 5 Jun 2011, 23:24, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

With my henry and similar attachments
I'm flop to pop in less than 20 seconds.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sun 5 Jun 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Are you 13?

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 5 Jun 2011, 23:26, Reply)

I can be
if you want me to be....
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sun 5 Jun 2011, 23:27, Reply)

*puts on coat, gathers up consent forms.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 5 Jun 2011, 23:38, Reply)

douffie are you playing with the hoover again?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 14:36, Reply)