The Way to a Womans Heart
Forget flowers or romantic dinners. The best way is through her rib cage with a small hunting knife and some elbow grease.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 4:06, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

old
Once saw this in Viz, but this version gave me breakfast-lols
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Actually.....
The ribcage route is more likely to result in hitting the aforementioned ribcage than actually piercing the heart itself.

In knife fighting, as in romance, the way to the heart is through the stomach. Remember to keep your thumb on the blade and strike up.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Pah!
Luddites. Use a chainsaw - quick, to the point, you feel 'manly' whilst doing it and you get some great Jackson Pollack splatters on the walls.

(If it is in your home and you do want too much mess a small jig saw is ideal.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)