Lads! Want to lose your virginity in a hurry?
Then befriend a member of a certain profession; play your cards right, and they might well point you in the direction of gorgeous legal unattached lasses with fannies tighter than a vice, who not only won't say no, they won't even charge you for the service.

Yes folks, there are some real perks to knowing an undertaker.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:42, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Rigor mortis may pose as an inconvenience

(i should have joined myspace, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Rigger mortis is worse.
I can't stand the oil under the fingernails.
(TheColonel, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:01, Reply)

Not if your undertaker friend sends a fresh one your way.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Just a thought...
you might want to remove "legal" from the list, think the old bill frowns on that sort of thing.

Still, adds an extra buzz though!
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:33, Reply)

Sorry, I meant "of legal age".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Wouldn't be so tight after lying there for 4 years though...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 12:47, Reply)

Ah, that's why you befriend an undertaker.
So you can chuck your muck up a freshly-buried one.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 23:01, Reply)