Lorry drivers
If, between sessions of murdering prostitutes, you ever find yourself behind the wheel of a red Volvo extended articulated flatbed with a crane, an ever-so-witty "if you can't see my mirrors, I can't see you" sticker, and a license plate which reads X474JOF, on a soaking wet spray-filled M25, and you want to move right from lane 1 to lane 2, you should consider your wing mirrors entirely optional. There is no requirement whatsoever to check for any cars which might be sitting in lane 2, parallel to your fuel tank, and which might have their headlights switched on in an evidently vain attempt to improve other drivers' chances of seeing them. Your fellow road users always appreciate the bowel-loosening rush of fear and adrenaline which accompanies the realisation that they could be dead in less than a minute. Furthermore, if any such road users ever drop down two gears and floor it past the front of your lorry because the other three options are to brake hard enough for your lorry to pass in front completely before it completes its lane change and either lose traction on the wet road or be rear-ended by a van, swerve to the right and hit the passenger side of another car, or remain in position and be crushed by your lorry, you should consider it your duty to lean on the horn and flash your headlights in a specious attempt to rebuke the other driver for averting a collision and saving his own life, because such audible and visual signals serve to let other road users know what a useless, fat, mouth-breathing cunt you are.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:58, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Wow
I feel out of breath after reading that *in my head*!

*clicky*
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I'll take that under advice

(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Bloody hell! Well done for taking the correct evasive action!

Hope your underwear came out OK in the wash!!!
( Vambo, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 22:23, Reply)

I always try to get out of a lorry's blind spot (which is about where the fuel tank is) as quickly as possible for this very reason, either by moving up further or dropping back.
(swissheavy, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Yes
I too have learnt that trick after 1 close call too many. Part of being a good driver is expecting everyone else to be a shit driver.
But the lorry driver here is quite clearly a cunt. Professional drivers should be held to a higher standard.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 5:08, Reply)

Less knight of the road...
...more shite of the road. Glad you got out of it OK. And your use of the word cunt is particularly appropriate, I think.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Could you see the mirrors?
That sticker is not some amusing quip, it is a statement of fact. So, if you could see the mirror[s] you should call the "0800 EAT SHIT" number or the company he worked for, if not you should have paid attention to what you were reading.
I know truck drivers can be arseholes, but defensive driving should usually mean you don't have to worry too much.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 18:16, Reply)