Save money on expensive anti-theft markers
by wanking on all your consumer electronics. Not only will it show up under ultra-violet lamps but it will contain your own unique DNA as a way of tying you to your gadgets.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 22:26, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

^this
That is excellent
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:18, Reply)

To hell with Smart Water.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

That's
actually a good idea. I wonder if there's a slightly more marketable way of doing this?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 16 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Well, obviously I don't want to put my DNA on some central DB
so therefore I should pay you to come around and wank all over my expensive electronic goods and give me a certificate to say you'd done it that I can take in to a court if the worst happens.

Simple.

Get some adverts up, quick!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)