massive drugs, obviously
Ate way too many magic mushrooms once and got trapped in my own mind - not a nice place to be when you're tripping so strongly you can't remember anything for more than a few seconds, and become slowly aware that you can't, convinced that you have crossed the threshold into madness.

I thought a giant box of washing powder in the kitchen was God and spent an entire day sat in front of it, basking in its holy glow.

I'm now an adult and have a proper job and everything.
( rofl harris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:32, 22 replies)

I once went mushroom picking and was tripping balls so much on my way home that I became stuck behind a two foot high wall.
It went on forever in both directions. I genuinely thought I'd be stuck there forever until I had a moment of clarity and just stepped over it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:37, closed)

I can believe this
I had a similar experience at glastonbury - faced with a roped off section I couldn't work out how I'd ever get back to tent ever again, until it dawned on me that it was only an inch or so off the ground.
( rofl harris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:39, closed)

Hooray for temporarily distressing drug delusions.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:42, closed)

So the science conclusion here is that mushrooms make you hilariously thick.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:43, closed)

I wouldn't be so quick to blame the mushrooms.
Not in this study, anyway.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:51, closed)

Oh I say. How rude.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:56, closed)

Pretty much.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 16:55, closed)

Yeah totally
But what fun.
( rofl harris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:02, closed)

Last mushrooms I had were a bit strong.
Spent the peak of it flailing around on the lawn, dribbling on things.

Once I regained motor control, I had to retire to my bed in the holiday house we were in, wrapped myself in a duvet, then spent about 6 hours in the following internal loop:

"Don't want to waste these shrooms."
"Should get outside and enjoy them."
"Members of the public exist outside."
"Don't like members of the public."
"Not going outside."
"Hope I can go outside by Monday."
"Work on Monday."
"What's the point in work if I waste these shrooms?"

Obviously, that's the English translation... the original was in the language of raw fear, panic and confusion.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:17, closed)

I don't know what the fuck you're on about
I've had mushrooms many times and all I've ever felt was a satisfying aftertaste and a slight buzz from the wine.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 21:43, closed)

mushroom picking to a fancy dress party as Viz character 'Buster Gonad'
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 19:26, closed)

I'm told I took 40 minutes to put on a pair of boots.

More distressingly, a very attractive female friend turned up with no tent, and decided to share mine. I was so far gone I entirely failed to notice this. The epic struggle with the boots apparently took all of my attention.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:21, closed)

Hahahaha
The first time I did shrooms I was at Glastonbury with a group of friends in a nice comfortable tent, so I did them and I was feeling pretty fucking awesome and at peace with the world until someone tapped me on the arm and said, Emvee your mum's outside. She was and all.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:24, closed)

and there was a cup of tea left by your sleeping bag

( rofl harris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:33, closed)

Back in the day my parents used to go to Glastonbury too
So there I was, tripping balls, with my mum waiting outside the tent. It's testament to my massive reserves of self-control that I was able extricate myself from the situation before she cottoned on to what was really going on.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:49, closed)

Alt: your mum isn't as daft as you think?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 8:49, closed)

God. Let's hope she is.
Imagine the crushing disappointment if she's not thick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 9:34, closed)

Actually I'm fairly sure she knew what was going on
Other times she's clocked that one of my friends has taken something before I have
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 10:49, closed)

Or maybe she was high as a kite, too?
I'm sensing a lot of opportunities to mess with my kids' heads, when they're older.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Mar 2014, 11:11, closed)

There's something about shrooms
Which seems to make mothers' faces melt right off.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:47, closed)

Also instills in you a terrible fear of them turning up right in the middle of being smashed off your face

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 17:50, closed)

Yes... exactly this.
Although experience* tells me that they tend to be more amused than appalled.

*experience may be imaginary
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 6 Mar 2014, 19:32, closed)