my engagement ring
In 2001 I got engaged to the bloke I loved, my best friend. Due to monumental awfulness beyond our control we got disengaged 6 months later. Love is not enough. Don't buy into the shit that it will conquer all.

We were pretty broke at the time and we went to the cheapy jewellers and chose a ring; very simple, very plain, with a tiny barely-visible-to-the-naked-eye diamond. I even tried to pay for half of it, frickin' feminist that I am, but he gallantly refused. I think it cost £250 quid in total and I panicked at wearing something that expensive (to me) on my hand.

I loved wearing that ring. I loved what it represented, and loved that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to marry that man. It broke my heart when we broke it off - it totally destroyed me - and it has taken me 6 years to get over it.

I know I shouldn't get so attached to a piece of jewellery that that represents a part of my life that is gone now, but it represents a point in my life where I was incredibly happy and optimistic about the future. I wore the ring on a chain around my neck for months after. Now it lurks in a drawer and occasionally I see it and am tempted to try it on to remember what it was like to feel that much in love with someone, but I usually manage to resist.

The day of my PhD graduation I bought myself a silver ring which I constantly wear on my ring finger. I have no idea if I'll ever wear an engagement ring again. I had the life I wanted but it slipped away,and it'd take someone pretty special for me to get to that stage again.

I'm not sure there's anything material that I'd save from a fire, but it's certainly something over which I still get sentimental.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 May 2008, 12:57, 15 replies)

This is another one
where "I Like This" isn't really appropriate, but it's a lovely story nevertheless.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 8 May 2008, 13:05, closed)

Aw! bless
I've never been in love so I can't really sympathize but it was a lovely story and it brought a lump to my cynical old throat.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 May 2008, 13:10, closed)

.
@althegeordie
My sentiments exactly.
*clicks*

@CHCB
I hope you someday meet that pretty special someone.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 8 May 2008, 13:11, closed)

Honey, the time will come
If anyone deserves to find a true soulmate in this life it is you. It may take a while to find someone worthy....
Which should make the wait worthwhile.

In the meantime, you have many people here who treasure and care about you. Have a great big cyber hug xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 8 May 2008, 13:38, closed)

*clicks while clearing the lump in his throat, wiping a tear from his eye and cursing the renewed heaviness in his heart and rotten feeling in the pit of his stomach*

^^^What Tourette's said, only more so.

It's awful to lose somebody you care about.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 May 2008, 14:07, closed)

*hugs*
Some day, CHCB, some day
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 8 May 2008, 14:12, closed)

Been there.
The one time my heart was truly broken, and it's never truly recovered from that. My jaw still clenches at the memories. I found the Right One, and life circumstances ripped her away from me.

However, I forced myself to purge the material reminders from my house, so there's nothing I would go back for.

It still hurts.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 8 May 2008, 14:52, closed)

* hugs everyone in this thread *
While the story had a tragic ending, seeing that there's many of you out there offerering hope warms my heart. Anyone up for starting "Group-hug Thursday"?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 8 May 2008, 15:06, closed)

As long
as it's naked group-hug thursday.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 8 May 2008, 16:33, closed)

I don't know...
... if you'll come back to your post looking at replies, but this...

"Now it lurks in a drawer and occasionally I see it and am tempted to try it on to remember what it was like to feel that much in love with someone, but I usually manage to resist."

...really speaks to me. I was married, she died at 28. Years down the line I am again in a very lovely relationship - and I might get married again - but every once in a while I put that ring on and think, "at last, my hand is whole again".

Are we allowed to love more than one person? I think there is room for both. Best of luck to you.

:Edit: Oh - and of course you get a clicky from me.
(Guizmeaux, Thu 8 May 2008, 18:44, closed)

I do read the replies
and I'm touched that people both understand and care.

I've had relationships since then - good ones - but none that came near what I felt back then. Sure, there'll be loves that are good, but they'll be different, or at least they have been so far, and it's partly my fault that I have this amazing yardstick to compare them to.

I do believe you can find something special in anyone, but also that the really amazing love is something that happens very infrequently. If you find it, grab it, and hold on very tight. I want to believe in happy endings but reality suggests otherwise. Still, I'd like to wish us all Happily Ever After.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 May 2008, 23:00, closed)

This speaks to me.
It sounds heartbreaking :( I really do hope you find someone to make you feel that way again soon *hug*
( Maladicta, Thu 8 May 2008, 23:11, closed)

I was there once...
I think I never shall be again. Worst is that we didn't break up over outside circumstances (though those always play a part) but that I blew it. I didn't understand then the extent of the problems that I have. I still don't. (God Bless America, where ordinary people can't afford a diagnosis!)
What I do know is: I will be alone all my life. It is not what I wish but I'm too old and too screwed-up to make it work.
But this isn't about me. I'm replying to your post, which made me remember feelings I'd nearly forgotten; both those of your engagement and those your felt (feel) afterwards. You will be all right. Be well, and know that you are loved.
(douchebarge, Fri 9 May 2008, 10:32, closed)

"Click"
"hugs"
(Eeeza bit Tidy A blink, a pause, a blush and then I knew., Sat 10 May 2008, 1:57, closed)

*click*
*many hugs*
(Fleximus Rex briefly gave up lurking on, Mon 12 May 2008, 3:40, closed)