I am currently engaging in a lovely spot of scam-baiting.
A naughty man is advertising on the internet and alleging he is representing the company i work in recruitment for. I emailed to ask for a job, and was immediately offered a position that I have no experience in, on a salary of £6000 per month. Amazing! Despite the fact that i have completed their 'application' form giving our company name and address as my current employer, he seems very keen for me to go to America for an interview. All he needs is my passport details, and money up front for my visa and documents. What could go wrong?

Despite the fact that I enquired whether my previous conviction for money-laundering and trading illegally in endangered species (which has, sadly, left me unable to obtain any visa for the US or Australia) would affect my chances, and the somewhat startling revelation that I was born on a Boeing 747 over the Gulf of Mexico and lived with my grandmother from the age of five after my parents attempted to sell me to a circus, the company are VERY keen to employ me.

I'm now sorting out the final details with him before I go for the reveal. Well, it passes the time.

UPDATE: well, i've just responded to an email asking me to complete a questionnaire:

Dear Fred (I hope you are not insulted by me calling you Fred - but you seem a friendly man)

I am afraid I cannot open the questionnaire from your email. Please, understand that I really do want this job (despite my lack of experience and crippling autism - regarding this, please confirm that there will be no red lifeboats on board as if I see any form of transport that is red, I have to hop seven times on each foot and fear this may alarm your guests) and have already packed my swimsuit and a packed lunch in anticipation of my new life at sea.

Please, kindly resend the questionnaire so that we can arrange my interview in America. I have never been to America before - can we eat 'chilli dogs' and go to the top of the World Trade Center? How exciting!!

I look forward to hearing from you.

with all the blessings that Jesus may offer the sinners,

Janet Aylia


i wonder if he'll reply?

UPDATED UPDATE: i have an appointment letter! now, do i carry on with this, or hit 'em with a cease and desist?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:01, 14 replies)

I love a bit of that
PM me if you would like me to jump in at some point. Im sure I have a character that would be suitable! lol
(scowners shagged his mum on, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:10, closed)

Are you not enjoying Asda then?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:15, closed)

I've been conversing with an individual claiming to represent the medical charity I work for
they want to give me an award of £80,000 for my outstanding services to the medical profession - all they need is for me to email them my bank details etc etc. I said that I'd sent them by Royal Mail recorded delivery to the address they gave (the building I work in). They said they'd gratefully received them and I should be getting my £80,000 any day now...
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:16, closed)

loving it!
I have a US phone number which could prove useful .... It's not physically in the US, it just forwards to my UK mobile for work reasons.

PM me if that can be incorporated with the scam.
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:17, closed)

Even Though

I can't stand you, the tale deserves a click.

*click*

cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:32, closed)

oh legless, you'll have me blushing in a minute.
cheers.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:35, closed)

very nice
Ask if you can meet for lunch as you're in the same building.
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 19 May 2011, 13:36, closed)

nice work!
click!
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 19 May 2011, 13:54, closed)

Win.
Updates being looked forward to.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 19 May 2011, 15:25, closed)

just done....

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 19 May 2011, 15:36, closed)

Re updated update
In for a penny in for a pound I say. String them along with all the twine the kittens can spare.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 19 May 2011, 18:07, closed)

Click FTW
I really hope you've signed off as Janet Aylia.

I vote that you keep 'em dangling until they've sent a white stretch Hummer limo to your offices to pick you up.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:30, closed)

Welp, no advice on that situation, but I like your new catchphrase! (The one about being angry on the internet.) It matches your eyes.
(Rainbow Meow, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:44, closed)

imma kiss you in a minute.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 21 May 2011, 12:51, closed)

I don't lez out unless the price is right, sister!

(Rainbow Meow, Sun 22 May 2011, 0:47, closed)