Queue twats
There are an abundance of twats located in any public place that caters for multiple customers via the modern convenience of multiple cash registers.

Why then, do these twats insist on creating ONE MASSIVE long queue behind just the one.

I take great pride in stunning these mouth breathing toss pieces by walking right past them, and straight to a till with 1 or 2 people in front of me or even better, an empty one.

The best of these situations was when one guy took particular offence to my initiative and told me to get back in line.

Me: "Mate, there are 10 tills here, you're the idiot that's decided to que in the longest lane"

Twat: "nah no no no, get back to the back of the fucking line"

At this point, a polite voice from behind the register piped up:

Voice: Actually sir, he is right, we have 10 registers open, this gentlemen is free to choose any one he pleases, and he has chosen mine.

Upon hearing this, the massive Queue dissipated like a flock of migrating birds.

It was beautiful.

Don't be a fucking sheep, don't join the first queue you see.
And if you join that big queue, then you're a fucking moron.
(Oobla, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 16:05, 15 replies)

However..
One queue of people with multiple registers does work. The post office for example:
"cashier number four please"
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 17:09, closed)

If it's set up that way
fine by me. When it isn't - and people follow each other like sheep. Then I have a problem.
(Oobla, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 17:18, closed)

It's far more efficient on average
As long as there is sufficient room for a single queue to form and there aren't many tills (so people miss the one that's free) then it's much better. It means that you don't get the bad luck of being stuck behind the biddy that can't find all her coupons.

The real twats are the ones that see everyone in one queue and think that their flawed understanding of queue etiquette means they can push in front of everyone.

Twat.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 18:40, closed)

I don't understand why this makes you angry
It's just a different way to queue - instead of several slow-moving queues there's one big fast-moving one. The average waiting time is exactly the same.
( Zoroastermouse thinks therefore he am, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 17:17, closed)

yep.
I usually find the smallest queue invariably has faffy mcdentybrain at the front of it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 17:24, closed)

If the establishment wanted 1 massive queue,
then they would have created a place for people to queue in that manner. Like the post office.

So I'm sorry, but this doesn't wash with me.
(Oobla, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 17:25, closed)

That's because
you are a twat.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 19:03, closed)

Flocks of migrating birds don't tend to dissipate. Not dissipating is more or less the entire point of flocking. Here is a picture of a flock of birds, conspicuously not dissipating.

You flocking idiot.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 23:40, closed)

^Marvellous^

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 14:44, closed)

^ What Tubster said ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 15 Apr 2012, 17:02, closed)

Don't you mean "cue" and "moran"?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 0:05, closed)

I'd be wary of calling people idiots when you can't even use an apostrophe.
(thefuckestuppest cheapened this, on, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 1:06, closed)

Or tell the difference between "your" and "you're".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 16:38, closed)

I was going to write
a piece on grammar nazi twats who pick holes in someone's post - trying to gain some sort of high ground. It's a 5 minute jot down story. I'm not try to win a fucking Pulitzer. Douche
(Oobla, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 0:15, closed)

Just wondering
... how long it took to go back and fix your post. Presumably more than 5 minutes. Twat :)
(Alt0n rides like the wind, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:38, closed)

Probably not
as long as it took you to try and come up with a 'witty' retort.
(Oobla, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 11:40, closed)

lol
Nice trolling, dude.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 20:57, closed)

Its not about being sheep, its about realising that queueing collectively will, for the most part, reduce the queueing time for all involved.

2 twats in this story it seems.
(Rambo, John J, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 6:07, closed)

Then my a fucking moron what?
(MayorBoris, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 6:08, closed)

Hahahahhaahah

(McChinaman banned, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 11:35, closed)

Surely the polite thing to do would be to ask if there was
any reason why the queue hadn't noticed the free register. You'd probably get an 'Oh yes, thanks, sorry for being a plonker I'll get a move on, you nice young man' instead of being a twat apparently aided and abetted by an employee who couldn't be bothered to have pointed this out to them earlier. Queuing is a wonderful tool but occasionally needs some lubricating to ensure that it functions properly. This lubricant may be in the form of 'common sense' but it can also be in the oft ignored 'manners' .
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Sat 14 Apr 2012, 15:59, closed)

Gonna buck the trend here
and say I agree with the OP. IF there is a clearly defined single queue then by all means I'll get in line. If not (Sainsburys/Tesco etc spring to mind) then any till is fair game.
(Captain Sensible "I'll be your animal in a yellow plastic bin", Sun 15 Apr 2012, 14:11, closed)

at least
someone here sees my point. I cannot believe how many people subscribe to this mystical queue etiquette.

Keep forming your long single queues - it'll keep the other registers free for me, and anyone else with half a brain who isn't part of the herd.
(Oobla, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 0:20, closed)

It may have
something to do with having Irish parents and listening to my dad constantly lament the fact that everyone in this country loves queuing. A fact he takes full advantage of by seeking the shortest possible route through most problems. But like we've stated, if there is a clear queue and no way around it then it's just got to be put up with.
(Captain Sensible "I'll be your animal in a yellow plastic bin", Mon 16 Apr 2012, 14:49, closed)