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This is a question Twattery

Nigella Pussycat says: Tell us about utter twats doing remarkably twatty things. Or have you ever done something really twattish to a friend, loved one or pet? In summary: Twats

(, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:30)
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Some twat in the V&A...
was queuing in front of me and ordered "two cappuccini". I just looked at him in disgust. I mean, great, you pluralised an Italian word with the correct Italian form. Fan-fucking-tastic you massive twat. Now go home and test your pasta by throwing a lone spaghetto at the wall and seeing if it sticks, or going out and drawing a single graffito on the wall. Fuck it...why stop there? Let's go out and order multiple pizze? We don't have to eat at one place...we could try a number of ristoranti. I do like my seafood, maybe we could order squid? Oh, you only have one calimaro for the table? Better try the octopodes. Is that a paparazzo over there taking a photo of Brangelina?

Massive wanker.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:28, 17 replies)
people are all sheeps.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:29, closed)
I don't think coffee is a good idea for you right now.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:32, closed)
...and breath
I take it the queue was quite long for you to figure that whole post out. Seems to me you thought a little too much about what you overheard a complete stranger saying to another complete stranger.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:36, closed)
edit Brangelina and replace it with a real Italian person's name.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:45, closed)
I can see how it's a little pretentious.
But where do you draw the line? Should he have asked for "Two capukinos."?
Why not strive to be correct? Willful ignorance is just as twatty.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 13:50, closed)
Would it not be 'due' rather than 'two'?

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 14:15, closed)

(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 14:16, closed)

Yes, there is that. However, they may not have understood that at the coffee place.
As I mentioned, how far do you take it? Isn't it as twatty to pronounce it "capuchino"?
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 14:38, closed)
I'm a bit torn on this,
I certainly agree that it is desperately pretentious to mix languages unnecessarily (allowing for the assimilation of all others into English of course) and I could understand it if were in an Italian establishment and you ordered in Italian (as if they would give a toss, but hey) but essentially the cappuccino part has become the generic western term for a frothy milky coffee and is firmly established as such and the anglicised plural of that is cappuccinos. It is likely that if the server understands the relevance of 'ini' they will have a vague appreciation of 'due' as well.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 18:17, closed)
Well, yes.
Depending on the establishment "due" could be appropriate also. But, then, the OP would likely still call him a twat.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 18:28, closed)
People who use correct grammar are worse than Hitler.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 14:32, closed)
Favourite Italian Plural
This reminds me of my favourite Italian plural, "Tarzanelli". These are apparently the small pieces of shit which stick to your arse hair. Little Tarzans.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 14:58, closed)
Tufts of toilet paper
stuck to a lady's muff are called "Janes"
(, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 15:35, closed)
my favourite misinterrpretation of 'cappuchino'...
when people refer to them as 'Cup-of-chinos'.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 1:51, closed)
Man - Please may I have a martinus?
Waiter - Don't you mean Martini?

Man - No. I only want one.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 8:12, closed)
That's my favourite joke
Except it should start, "A Roman Centurion walks into a bar..."
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:18, closed)
I'll go one better
A place in Colchester that we sometimes get lunch at lists


on their menu. I don't think it's actually possible to be any more wrong than that
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 15:04, closed)

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