ghost
Okay, this just happened and I have to get it off my chest cos it's freaking me out a fuckload. I'm literally shaking here, and almost nothing scares me.

Just now, no more than 10 minutes ago, I had a strange feeling that pulsed right through me; a shiver of sorts ran from the small of my back all the way up my spine.

It was mildly unnerving, but I've had it before, and more often than not, it means I need a crap.

Off to the bathroom I trotted, and after pulling down my trousers and boxers, I sat down on the throne, picked up a magazine (Top Gear) from beside the toilet roll stand and began to peruse it.

After no more than 30 seconds, I felt the pressure go and there was a splash signalling the turd's departure. I set down Top Gear that moment (I'm not very interested in cars) and got to my feet to have a look at the fruits of my labour.

Nothing.

There was no turd at all. The bowl was empty, the waters calm if slightly yellow from my piss.

Suddenly I was alive with fear. I had definitely done a turd, and I had heard the splash as it dropped into the water, but nothing was left.

After wiping my arse, I also found the paper was completely clean - not a trace of poo on it. I am now thoroughly convinced I have done a ghost turd, and am quite obviously frightened of the prospect of going for a poo again.
(ratthingbazzterd, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 23:01, 8 replies)

I too
have been visited by the ghost poo, it was a very unnerving experience as you well know! I tried to explain this to someone at work but all they did laugh until they cried :'(

www.fortunecity.co.uk/meltingpot/jinx/399/jokes/Toilet_Humour/Types_of_Poo.html
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 23:20, closed)

I get the Goo Poo quite often.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 10 Jul 2008, 0:08, closed)

A terrifying account
of a visit by a poltershite.
(richardm, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 1:02, closed)

^^^
or a pootergeist!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:48, closed)

LOL
why are turd stories so funny? I must have a shit sense of humour :D *clicks*
(Miggyman, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:48, closed)

I hate these
I sometimes am left after a sweating grunt-fest of birthing a bog-monster (may just be me on that), only to look into the murky waters to view my creation and be greeted with........

Nothing. Not a damned thing, not even wiping produces anything. You'd think after all that effort I'd at least see something for my troubles.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:16, closed)

Ive just had the opposite.
As I was sat here at my desk. I could feel my bowls shifting, my stomach cramping. Brewing up a whale of a shit. So went to the toilet. is queezed and i squeezed and nothing.. Nothing at all. So dissapionting.
(Miggyman, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:45, closed)

Cant believe......

.....that you're complaining about ace-ing a jobby!!! It's like one of life's ultimate goals!

A no wiper, no skidmark shit. I dream that one day I'll do one that good!
(calikeo, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:50, closed)