My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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aye, i was.After a particluarly feisty episode of stargate SG1 i was cracking one off in my room, eyes firmly shut, forearm accelerating, when in bursts my mother.
Now, i was completely reefed, but in my spinning fog of humiliation, i thought i might be able to salvage the situation. I decided that she couldn't be 100% sure of what she had interrupted, and would probably be in some sort ot maternal denial, and that i could exploit her doubt. I strolled down to the kitchen, where she was attending to her duties, twitching like an excited spa. I sat down at the table and proceded to tap my foot and jig my leg wildly in an attempt to sew the seeds of doubt:"maybe he was nervously tapping his foot all along".
After about three minutes of this, she looked up from her darning, stared me square in the eye and spat "go back up to your... room"
My mistake was instead of leaving the imprint of the scene in the compartment of my mothers psyche labelled "boy becomes man" it is now dually filed under "Son is a wanker" and "foot tapping" permanently.
(, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:48, Reply)
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