My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Prison WanksMy mate got banged up in Feltham and I visited him a couple of times. The conversation arose about how you relieve yourself sexually. He said due to the obvious lack of women and the boredom of your straightforward wank they had to devise new ways to stimulate themselves. Based on what he told me I have a top 5 of prison self loving.
5. The left handed wank
4. The two handed wank (similar to starting a fire with sticks)
3. The sitting on your hand for ages till it goes numb wank (apparently it doesn't feel like you are doing it)
2. The hand under the leg wank (takes practice as you could fall over)
1. The no hands wank - Cutting a hole in your mattress and filling it with vaseline and shagging it.
As you can see prison life is very hard for a masturbator.
(, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 10:22, Reply)
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