My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Got a few....First one involves a girl who I know (lets call her Aimi). My mates used to own a cafe, and we'd all sit around there getting absolutely bladdered into the wee hours, then all trawl from there to their flat (which was only 50m down the road). We'd used to do sick stuff to each other, and always be trying to outdo each other, so one day this girl Aimi goes home and leaves her wallet behind, so me and another guy called Dave first of all cut of a few meaty hunks of bush, and filled the bit of the wallet that you keep the notes in with our little pubic pick-and-mix, then, obviously trying to outshine each other, we then took it in turns to disappear into the toilet and spank one out into the little zip-up bit of the wallet where the change is kept.
Imagine her shock when she got it the next day and went to the kebab shop, and reaching into her wallet to find all her change covered in 'slime'!
Next is about another mate called Liam, who is a really quiet guy, he's got a really long-term girlfriend who lives in South Africa, and to look at them you'd think they didn't know what shagging is. Anyhoo, me being the resident nerd, his computer broke recently, so I took his hard-drive and plugged it into my PC to see if I could sort it out, and found about 2Gb worth of all this godawful foot/fat/hairy fetish stuff. Needless to say I now have him over a barrel, and his girlfriend is coming to visit next month!
(, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 12:50, Reply)
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