Just remembered another one....
I didn't actually witness this myself, but have had it cheerily recounted to me at least 5 times.

A few of my mates were on an 18-30 holiday with some of their other rugby friends, one of which is a guy called Ali, who has become renouned as "the guy with the massive cock". This thing was scary, like a kids arm. He was having trouble getting laid because most women couldn't 'take him'. So, one night he managed to pull a german girl, and they disappeared into the bedroom. All the other guys piled into the other room, and, due to the thin walls, were subjected to a night of Ali yelling "TAKE THE INCHES!! TAKE THE INCHES YOU GERMAN BITCH!!", with intermittent groans / scream from aforementioned german girl.

In the morning, they were all sat out on the patio of their little villa thing, and Ali's door flew open, and out spilled this german girl in her underwear, in floods of tears, rubbing her face, closely followed by Ali, who threw her clothes at her while yelling "Now fuck off you bitch!", to which she replied "You have ruined my life!!!" before running off into the sunset.

He sauntered over to my friends, bollock naked, manhood blowing around like a windsock, before telling them that the german girl couldn't take him, so he tried her 'the other way', but that didn't work either (unsuprisingly), and that he got so frustrated when he woke up in the morning he simply polished one off all over her face, but she woke up just as he was reaching the peak of pleasure mountain, and through a cruel mix of physics knee-jerk reaction, he almost blinded the poor girl with his man-custard, which she obviously didn't take to kindly to, especially when he started giggling like a schoolgirl as she stumbled around the bedroom searching for something to wipe her face with.

Good times.
(Jon Norris, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 16:07, Reply)