My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Never been caughtwhich is unusual considering how often I do it. 3 times yesterday, 5 on monday (god bless bank holidays).
Actually, I did kind of get caught after the fact once, I had spent one summer holiday spanking my hairy monkey and depositing the population paste onto an old t-shirt. At the end of the holiday my mum took it upon herself to do my laundry and found this fucking t-shirt, it was rancid (slightly yellow and patchy, and smelled sugary, and a bit like cucumbers for some reason). I remember her asking how it had got like that (whilst holding it at arms length between 2 fingers), I said I had spilt some orange squash and wiped it up with the shirt. Fuck knows if she believed me, I hope she did because the thought of her knowingly handling the remains of what I can only estimate to be several trillion of my sperm makes me want to kill myself with shame.
Ah, happy teenage days...
(, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 16:17, Reply)
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