During my very disjointed career....
....I worked as a Police Officer (until the smell of pork and corruption became too much to bear - haha). Anyway, back to the point. Working as a Copper (and especially on night-shifts) opens up new avenues such as catching shaggers.

Basically, between the hours 9.00pm and 3.00am those little dark car parks, shady alleys and smoky lanes were crammed with people having it away in their own cars. Now being a kind hearted soul, you could slowly creep the car right up to the offending car; slam on the blues and twos and watch the resulting actions (usually the bloke shooting his bolt, female screaming thinking she was with a murderer, etc). To a cut a long story short - this became a bit of a game with everyone on the shift.

This one night (actually around 8.30pm) with the dusk just settling we noticed a motor parked up in a 'typical' haunt of the shaggers with one occupant (seemingly) and decided to investigate. Dropping the motor into neutral we gently approached the motor and put on the lights and sirens. However, the occupant in the driving seat simply stayed put - so I got out to investigate and saw that the driver was on his own tossing himself off. What makes the story more interesting is that fact he was my neighbour, more strangely was that our houses were about 100 yards away and more disturbing was the fact he was tossing off over a Computer Magazine (the page was on CD-Burners for some reason).

Of course, this added a new dimenion to the phrase "the Wanker next door" especially when he had his girlfriend or family visiting.
(drydo, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 17:08, Reply)