My Wanking Disasters
Ever been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
( , Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
Ever been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
( , Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Oh the shame - the horrible horrible shame!
*Sob*
I'm crying with the shame of this story...
One day when I was a nipper I was going through my most furious fist and the furious stage (a billion times a day or something). Well anyway I had a thing for Jet from Gladiators (the shame)and had recorded the previous nights episode on my massive video. Anyway while watching it Jet was about to do her speciality - the over head rings thing - and I defy any man to not find that a turn on! Feeling randy I watched her lift her right leg really high in the air! Being well turned on I paused the video and proceeded to thrash one out.
So I had my trousers round my ankles and was stood in front of the TV, well into the vinegar strokes when my door swung open and there was my Dad!!!! Shit! As I was facing the door there was no way he couldn't tell what I was doing! Within the same second our extremely excitable dog barged into the room and jumped up at me at the very same time my purple monster spurted my man milk! The dog got it full in the face and I fell backwards onto the bed, cock in hand!
My Dad was bright red and tried to chase the dog out of the room while I started crying and tried to hide my shame! Burying my face in the pillow I really really wanted to die....
then out of the quiet and my muffled sobs I heard my Dad say "I prefer Lightning to that Jet" then he closed the door!
Sometime later I ventured downstairs and into the kitchen fearing laughs and ridicule only to be greeted with the sight of my Dad washing the Dog out in the yard!!!!!
Dad I salute you!
( , Thu 3 Jun 2004, 10:05, Reply)
*Sob*
I'm crying with the shame of this story...
One day when I was a nipper I was going through my most furious fist and the furious stage (a billion times a day or something). Well anyway I had a thing for Jet from Gladiators (the shame)and had recorded the previous nights episode on my massive video. Anyway while watching it Jet was about to do her speciality - the over head rings thing - and I defy any man to not find that a turn on! Feeling randy I watched her lift her right leg really high in the air! Being well turned on I paused the video and proceeded to thrash one out.
So I had my trousers round my ankles and was stood in front of the TV, well into the vinegar strokes when my door swung open and there was my Dad!!!! Shit! As I was facing the door there was no way he couldn't tell what I was doing! Within the same second our extremely excitable dog barged into the room and jumped up at me at the very same time my purple monster spurted my man milk! The dog got it full in the face and I fell backwards onto the bed, cock in hand!
My Dad was bright red and tried to chase the dog out of the room while I started crying and tried to hide my shame! Burying my face in the pillow I really really wanted to die....
then out of the quiet and my muffled sobs I heard my Dad say "I prefer Lightning to that Jet" then he closed the door!
Sometime later I ventured downstairs and into the kitchen fearing laughs and ridicule only to be greeted with the sight of my Dad washing the Dog out in the yard!!!!!
Dad I salute you!
( , Thu 3 Jun 2004, 10:05, Reply)
« Go Back