My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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I prefergoing han solo on darth vaders head.
but as for a wanking disaster - here goes.
I'll save myself the embarrasment of pretending it was a mate, it was me, ok?
In my adolescence, during that '10 times a day' phase we all go through, I somehow got it into my head that it would be a fantastic idea to screw the space between my bed and the mattress.
the result was: friction. As a teenager though, I was determined to see it through to the end.
I finished up and summarised the experiance as ' a bit fun, but more hassle than it's worth'
6 months later, my mum orders me a new bed, and enlists my help in moving out the old one.
Imagine my horror, when, after removing the mattress, she bends down and sniffs the offending, surprisingly mushroom-cloud shaped, dry, crusty spurt of baby juice I had completely forgotten about.
You could see the realisation dawn on her face as she sharply pulled it away.
"what's this?" she asked.
"the cat must have pissed on the bed" says me.
"what, between the matress and the bed?"
We never spoke of it again.
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newg rum n coke, Fri 4 Jun 2004, 14:18,
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