My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
« Go Back
Artificial insemination..........It wasn't really a disaster but it was pretty weird at the time...I wanted my dog to have puppies but she didn't like any of the males on offer so the breeder said "don't worry, we'll do it artificially". I thought that science was involved......that was not the case. The breeder had to go somewhere else, so he left me, the vet (extremely attractive and about my age) and his wife who was (and I'm not making this up) deaf and dumb. Picture this: me with both hand holding my dog's bum in the male dog's face, the vet wanking the dog (a grown man using two fingers on a dachshund!!), and the breeder's wife holding a plastic glass under the dog's dick to catch what came out (and me and the vet occasionally yelling "move the glass" when she wasn't concentrating and therefore wasn't catching the precious liquid!! Of course she couldn't hear us as she was deaf and we couldn't nudge her as we had all our hands tied up doing other things!!) After about half an hour the vet put the exhausted dog on the floor, wiped the sweat from his eyes and inseminated my dog using what looked like a chicken-baster. We left as soon as we could....and I didn't shake his hand! (PS It was worth it in the end as my dog did have puppies!)
(, Fri 4 Jun 2004, 14:34, Reply)
« Go Back