60 Quid
on a couple of farm hens and a coup*.

4 eggs in 10 months. £40 vet bill as the bigger one got an infection in it's eye, massive holes in the garden as they loved to dig holes and cram themselves into them while flapping and making a racket.

The only monies worth I got was watching them gobble down the following (in addition to a normal diet of poultry pellets and corn, of course) -

Chips
Pasta
Monster Munch
Rice
Mini Cheddars
Noodles
Stale bread and Cake
various biscuits

which made me giggle as they viciously pecked at a custard cream

In a flat now, hens have gone to a farm, which I doubt provides them with such goodies.

*coop
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:33, 11 replies)

Oh yeah....
They also pecked my shoelaces cos they thought they were worms.
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, closed)

You should've tried feeding them roast chicken. It's fucking hilarious :D
( Noo_Noo Is now 'BeerElf Jnr', I guess :), Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, closed)

I've heard they actually quite enjoy it, yes.....
but I could never bring myself to upset the balance of nature for some cheap lulz
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:00, closed)

That's an awfully cheap coup
Didn't Mark Thatcher pay millions for his?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, closed)

BOOM TISH!

Mistake duly noted! Ha!
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:08, closed)

You're doing it wrong
or had the wrong hens, or something. I get 3 eggs a day from my 3 hens, and have done since they started laying, with a small pause during the summer when it went down to 2 a day. I keep them penned up so they can't mess up the garden. And if they get sick, just eat them.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:08, closed)

Do you squeeze them gently? This didn't work for me.

I prefer my meat slaughtered for consumption. I don't know why but I'd be squeamish about eating something that died naturally.....
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:12, closed)

I think you're supposed to chop their heads off
Oh and I think they need a rooster kicking around before they lay
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 19:05, closed)

Not at all. Hens will lay without a rooster. A rooster will fertilize the eggs, so if you left them they'd hatch into chicks. Without a rooster you don't have to worry about crunching half-formed beaks and feet as you dip your marmite soldiers into the medium-boiled delight.

Not true - it takes a while for the chick to form

You will, though, get fewer eggs in the winter (long nights, short days - chickens are not the brightest of creatures, as I'm sure you'll have noticed), so if you want them to keep going, put a light on a timer in their coop.
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 21:12, closed)

You dont think the stuff you fed them could have something to do with their lack of regular periods?
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:15, closed)

Possibly...
but there is no warning on Monster Munch packets about excessive consumption leading to poor egg yield.
( industrial_bunny, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:18, closed)

The problem is a common one
...you were shafted by the vendor. Buying chickens is like buying a used car in the dark. Stick to ex battery hens, they're free-ish, you usually get eggs and if they become a foxes dinner you can shrug and say at least they saw the great outdoors.
(DownhillGardener no-one does it like that anymore, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 21:45, closed)

:)
The mental image of chickens tucking into a packet of Monster Munch makes me smile for some reason.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 21:53, closed)