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This is a question Waste of money

I once paid a small fortune to a solicitor in a legal case. She got lost on the way to court, turned up late with the wrong papers and started an argument with the judge, who told her to "shut up, for the love of God". A stunning investment.

Thanks to golddust for the suggestion

(, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:45)
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Dodgy bin bag sale
Around 1995, got a leaflet through the door:
"Warehouse clearance sale...Game Boys £5...Hi-Fis £10...TVs £20...Community Centre Tuesday 8pm" or something to that effect. "I'll have some of that" thought I.

Many people had the same thought, the place was packed as the Cockney crook took to the stage. Holding an item above his head he says "Who'll give me £5 for this Game Boy?". A hundred arms shoot into the air accompanied by cries of "Me, Me, Me". He says to one of his helpers "Give it to the lady" and the Game Boy is "sold" to a woman standing near the front. He repeats this a couple more times so now three people are the proud owners of the latest in gaming technology and an excited crowd strains to contain themselves.

There is a brief pause in proceedings as some bin bags containing mystery items are brought onto the stage. The crowd chatter noisily until they are suddenly interrupted by the Cockney con-man shouting "QUIET!" followed slightly less loudly with "Please...Ladies and Gentlemen".

He continues by explaining that they've got far too much stock out the back to sell items one at a time so his lads have bagged up some stock and "Who'll give me £25 for one of these bags?". Arms in the air (including mine), cries of "Me, me, me", the boys walk around the room distributing bin bags full of goodies and taking the 25 notes off of the mug punters.

Now I was 99% certain before I bought the bag that it would be full of crap yet for £25, curiosity got the better of me. I ignored the cockney scammer's continued barking from the stage "Don't open the bags until you get home" justified by "We haven't got time, we have to get on with the sale" and took a peak inside.

My £25 bought me:
1. A battery operated carving knife.
2. A plain round plastic wall clock.
3. The crappiest camera I have ever seen, as someone later put it: "It looks like something you'd squirt water with".

I looked around and noticed that the rest of the crowd were standing obediently with their un-opened bags waiting for the next part of the sale probably thinking "Five Game Boys, that's Christmas sorted". The Cockney gangsters started to bring more bin bags onto the stage only these ones were bulky, filled with boxes of mystery items. The chief thief explained that there were three different bags to choose from each filled with "'Undreds of pahnds worth of gear". Each bag contained one major item, "Tools" was one of them, "Stereo" another, can't remember the last option. The bags also contained several smaller items to fill them up. The crowd were instructed to shout out which bag or bags they wanted and the cost? A mere £200 each.

Again curiosity got the better of me, though I had absolutely no intention of paying, so I shouted out "Tools". My bag was brought to me and my bank card taken away. The Cockney geezer was shouting "Don't open the bags here, wait 'til you get home" but I took a peak inside. The "Tools" consisted of a set of spanners and sockets which looked like they would snap if you tried to use them. There was another crappy camera and a mini radio and cassette player, the make may have been Alba or maybe it wasn't even that good.

There was a bloke stood near to me, he appeared to be in ecstasy, he had all three of the £200 bags by his feet. I said to him "Don't pay for them mate, it's a load of shit inside", he replied "I know" and continued to stare at the stage looking like he'd just been brainwashed.

One of the boys came back with my bank card in one of those carbon-paper slidey things that we all used before Chip & Pin. He asked me to sign my name. "I'm not signing that, give me back my card" I said. He got quite aggressive about it saying I had to pay, "Verbal contract, blah, blah" but I refused to do so, he eventually handed back my card and told me to "Fuck off out of my site before I get angry".

I went outside and had a laugh with a few others who had lost £25 that night. None of us could believe that anyone would hand over £200 for a bin bag the contents of which they hadn't seen let alone that some people had handed over £600 for three.

My bag of goodies went to a charity shop (and probably straight into their bin).
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:50, 12 replies)
The guy buying three? He was a plant from the gang....
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:15, closed)
My mate got done this way on Oxford Street
Lost all his holiday money, the twat.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:18, closed)
I've seen a posh laptop somehow turn into a laptop case full of potatoes.
Fantastic entertainment! The bloke who bought it was himself a market trader, a real ducker-and-diver, and it was hilarious to see him go ballistic when he clocked the scam.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:29, closed)
clearance sales
These things seem to be reasonably common. I posted about my experiences at one on another QOTW (get rich quick maybe?).
The guy with the mic was whipping everyone into a frenzy with his sales speil, sold a few genuine items to plants in the crowd, then started handing out tokens in exchange for cash that were to be exchanged for goods after the sale. He was quite the performer and had people literally throwing cash at him on stage while the sketchy staff handed out tokens, all the while he was talking about the top-spec cameras, hi-fis, jewelry and so on that he was selling.
After it was all done, the crowds besieged the back of his Luton van to collect their stuff - as soon as it was all handed out the guys piled into the van and exited in a hurry,leaving people in the carpark opening boxes which turned out to be full of the shoddiest crap ever made..."Pintax" cameras which were like kids toys with most of the buttons just painted on...loads and loads of broken tv`s etc and gaudy, fake jewelry like a child would wear.
People were not happy.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:33, closed)
I think that may have been the brand of mine.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:51, closed)
I got relieved of £25 this way once...ended up with four identical bottles of dodgy perfume, which I passed on to female relatives for Xmas
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:43, closed)
If it's too good to be true....

Still a shit sandwich, though.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:33, closed)
That made me laugh, imagining a really posh conman with a moustache and monocle.

Yes, I know it's a typo but it still made me giggle. XD
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:32, closed)
better change that.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 15:07, closed)
He was
Terry Thomas and ICMFP.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 17:26, closed)
You get a click for
the mental image of a rough, cockney geezer loudly annunciating "QUITE!"
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:36, closed)
We get these leaflets now and then
and I've been to one of the sales, a good few years ago, but didn't buy anything because I couldn't see what was being sold. Also, I had no money and only went out of curiosity.

Everyone else was keen though - as you say, it was as if people'd gone mad!

I'll watch out for the leaflets and go along to the next one for a laugh.
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:40, closed)
Guilty as charged
I got conned into buying a wristwatch at one of these sales. Even going with the suspicion that something dodgy is taking place, it's easy to get caught up in the atmosphere on the day.
I plan to secretly film the next one I see advertised locally and post the results on YouTube (probably including me being done over by the thief's accomplices for secretly filming them.)
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 17:04, closed)
The other half
got done with this at Great Yarmouth, despite me telling him it wasn't a good idea.

Then he nearly got done at Skegness - he was going to pay, but I told him there would be holy hell if he did. My brother didn't do too bad out of it, paying a bit over the odds for a halogen oven, but my father in law got stiffed for £100 on crap and wouldn't believe it was junk!
(, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 18:37, closed)

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