ALMOST as bad as the bed sh1tting boss...
when i went to uni, the internet was a brand new shiny toy. i found a chat room, and started chatting to this guy called "P". he happened to live in didsbury, near my parents. we arranged to meet up when i was home for christmas.

i was working in a pub every night that holiday, so we said he would stand at the bar and we'd chat between customers. i did not realise this meant he would be drinking for about 5 hours. what a naive tw*t.

i got to the pub (the "elizabethan" in heaton moor for any northern b3tans) and there was a blond guy at the end of the bar. not bad looking in any way, but i knew i didn't fancy him. so i hoped it wasn't him (very mean and shallow but i was 18). only it was him. he stood there drinking and mumbling the odd shy comment. at midnight, pub all cleaned up, i said i'd drive him home instead of going on to a bar. i couldn't face it.

well. we got halfway to didsbury when he threw the car door open at 40mph, nearly wrecking it. then he threw up all over the car, the door, the window, himself, and me. then he rolled out of the car and carried on puking up 12 pints of greenoughs finest for about half an hour whilst i shivered in the cold.

when we got to didsbury, he couldn't remember the name of his road. eventually he broke down in tears and started sobbing. he said he didn't really live in didsbury, he lived in wythenshawe, but hadn't told me because i lived in [name of footballers wives cheshire town] and was therefore very rich.

THEN he said he couldn't believe he had ruined it as i was lovely and he was a virgin and now i'd never sleep with him and he would never lose his cherry etc etc.

the only thing worse than listening to that all the way to wythenshawe was peeling the cold semi-digested cornflakes and other puked up bits of sh1t from the inside of my brand new car upholstery before my dad saw it.....
he apologised the next day and actually turned out to be a very sweet guy, just never going to be the one after that performance! we kept in touch for a while, if he happens to be reading this i guess i'll never hear from him again!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Mar 2006, 14:04, Reply)