Where do I start....
This is my first post, I've been reading the qotw for years and nothing has inspired me quite like this question! Allow me to vent my spleen (for an hour or two!) ;)

In chronological order, my various rendevouzs with internet weirdos:

1. He was friendly and lovely and nice and I'd met him on ICQ. He got me drunk on vodka so I threatened him with a pool cue. He still stuck around. So I invited him to a family party in which my assembled family numbered over 60 and somewhat resembled a mob meeting. They got him drunk on vodka, he vomited all over the garden and the house and ran away home. I never saw him again and last I heard he'd moved 300 miles away.

2. Another ICQer. Online, funny and clever. In reality, a 15 year old spotty goth. I have nothing against 15 year olds or goths but I do have something against being persistantly shadowed by them and their terrible hair for almost a year. I think my mother told him I was dead in the end.

3. A good encounter! I advertised for models to help me with an article I was writing and one showed up complete with tight leather trousers and flowing locks. We became very good friends and spent many a drunken time together. He also woke me with a cup of tea every morning whilst still dressed in leather pants. Can't complain really.

4. Moved to a strange area alone and tried to make friends. Met a couple who were seemingly, refreshingly normal. It took three visits to their house before they asked me if I'd like to join their coven. Initiation through sexual contact only. I declined.

5. Had recently broken up with my long term boyfriend and on the rebound met up with someone from mIRC. Got together and somehow managed to ignore for three months the resemblance to Mick Hucknall, the cross dressing and the photos of him dressed as a pony, complete with ball gag and restraints. Came to my senses eventually, dumped him and found out years later that he had informed all the other IRC regulars that he'd dumped me because I wouldn't stop asking him to marry me.

6. A really sweet, nice guy from IRC. When drunk, he was perfectly acceptable but once I sobered up, absolutely nothing to talk about. A couple of sober mornings-after and we drifted apart. I gave it no thought until having bumped into him at another party, I introduced him to my new boyfriend, he got very upset and it eventually emerged that after a year with no contact, he had still believed we were partners. I still get insulted by my friends for dumping someone so callously.

7. A true case of the people bigging themselves up online. What was portrayed as a cool as fuck rocker with a lifestyle to match Tommy Lee's actually turned out to be a submissive, sweet little man with terrible hair, an obsession with maglites and a stomach churning habit of lapping up his bodily fluids from wherever he'd prematurely ejaculated and licking his lips with pleasure.

8. This guy was dangerous because he was just on the appealing side of insane and good at his subversion tactics, heh. Dirty and filthy and all manner of pervert. Never was quite the same after a night on absinthe in which I almost lost my nipple ring to his teeth and consequently covered him in blood.

9. Met a normal person! Been with him 4 years! Well done me :D
(axlette, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 23:10, Reply)