'Trying to stop the seagulls eating your cheese'
is now my favourite euphemism for furious masturbation.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 17:51, 3 replies)

Arf!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 18:03, closed)

I wish it was
I have rarely felt less sexy that at 4.30am in a dressing gown and boxer shorts, chasing a seagull around my tent (in the rain) in order to reclaim my sliced cheddar.
( MatJ LOOK, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 18:18, closed)

and 'Chasing a seagull around a tent in order to reclaim my cheddar'
deserves to be a euthemism for something deeply deprived too.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 19:21, closed)

Depraved, surely?

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 8:38, closed)

It might just be me
but that's the sexiest thing I've ever heard
( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 23:43, closed)

Now I know what sort of batter the tent was covered in.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 1:42, closed)