Face the Music (names retained to protect nobody)
At the ridiculous age of 17, we decided to form a college band which would cover ELO tracks. We would be called 'Face The Music' as everybody knows that the best name for a band is the title of an album by the band you intend to cover.

So, I was on keyboard (well piano because we were in the music room), Ray on rhythm guitar, Adam on lead, Dave on Drums, and Steve on vocals. Adam quickly worked out the chords for Mr Blue Sky, and me and Ray had a quick practice to get the timing right. Then we all practiced properly.
We were shit. The audio equivalent of a sewage outfall pipe that doesn't quite reach low tide. The drums, albeit muffled, were still too loud, Adam had to play bass on a lead guitar, and lack of cello notwithstanding, he also had to play the string section. I couldn't get the timing right and everyone finished before me. And as for Steve, he knew all the words, and even carried a tune, but his voice was, well, uninspiring. He didn't sound nasal, or whiny, but he sounded like he was complaining in tune.
"Well that was shite" called Adam. "Shall we go again?"
But before we started, the door opened and in walked Matt.
"Ooh, ELO. Can I sing?" he said. He couldn't play any instruments, and a tune would disguise his peculiar Doncaster accent. He was probably the second biggest ELO fan after Ray and so Steve handed the mike to Matt, I got told off for playing Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag, and we went again. It did sound better, probably because I kept in time. Matt also knew the words, had a more positive voice and could also carry a tune. But somehow it didn't sound right.
Adam, the most talented musician amongst us put his finger on it. Mr Blue Sky is in the key of F. Matt was singing in B-flat, essentially singing a harmony to a tune that wasn't there.
We then all agreed that setting up a band was quite possibly the worst thing we could possibly do short of burning down an orphange and kitten sanctuary. Instruments were put away, and that was the end of 'Face the Music'.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)