b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Worst Band Ever » Post 1023949 | Search
This is a question Worst Band Ever

If I was in charge of the B3ta fatwa department, we wouldn't be hearing too much from Simply Red in the future. Who's on your musical shit list and why?

(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 12:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

« Go Back

Act's support act
I've not got anything against a well chosen support act, in fact back in the 90s became a huge fan of a few obscure bands through excellent support slots (Sheep on Drugs supporting Nitzer Ebb, and later on, Cubanate supporting Sheep on Drugs), but occasionally there's one that goes horribly wrong, not just in an 'out of tune' sense (although a lot were) but in a 'anyone who likes the main act will despise this sort of thing' way.

Back in the pretentious tail end of the 1980s, I was obsessed with the ZTT record label. They snared me through Frankie Goes to Hollywood and drew me into a fascinating world of obscure remixes, each more up it's own arse than the previous one. I became a conniseur of production techniques, and spent every spare moment seeking out obscure 12"s for the slightest variation on a remix theme. Over the years ZTT lost the plot, (spending £600,000 on production for Frankie's 2nd album, for example) but I went right along with them, loving the high tech synthetic sounds, the nietzsche quotes on the sleeves, the glamour. The absolute peak of this was a record so overproduced and so far up it's own backside that it could make grown men shudder - "Snobbery and Decay" by Act. I absolutely loved Act in the way that only a teenage boy who fancies himself and an intellectual outcast can, and I went to see them live to marvel at the musicianship and technology that would appear on stage, and when they came on, they were of course, absolutely mindblowingly good. I went away convinced that I'd just seen the best musical performance ever.

Of course, I had to sit through the support act first. Who could possibly support the most pretentious and technologically advanced band on the planet? Surely something willfully obscure, foreign and mysterious, like their modren classical labelmate Andrew Poppy, or enigmatic chantreuse Anne Pigalle, both of whom had supported Act's singer when she was in Propaganda a few years before?

No, what we got was an hour of some idiotically grinning cheesy folk-singing twats that the audience clearly couldn't wait to be shot of. A band so low tech that they actually had an accordion player! They played insipid nursery rhyme folk music for an hour, each track worse than the last, gradually losing any shred of folk authenticity and class with each new song. Worst of all, they simply would not go away when they were done, they kept on restarting the last song for another round of it's insipid chorus, even though it obviously didn't work lyrically (the word "Be" simply doesn't have 8 syllables, you imbeciles!). They eventually got off stage to a round of indifference from the assembled crowd, and some booing from me.

Fast forward a few weeks and the ZTT label collapsed, Act were dropped, and as for that godawful support act with their horrble nursery rhyme that kept restarting, and wailing singer who looked like a ginger Su Pollard? Here they are at number 1 in the charts: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzMR_SIqyGQ&feature=related
(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:13, 3 replies)
At one point
Spinal Tap were their own support band in the form of some folk set-up, and had to endure a whole set of hatred from an audience shouting for...Spinal Tap to come on stage
(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, closed)
Proof that Fairground Attraction are the musical equivilents of pensioner drivers
Drive horrendously, have never had an accident but have caused hundreds.
(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:22, closed)

Cubanate and Nitzer Ebb, there're two bands I'd never expect to see mentioned on b3ta. Now I've not heard of Sheep on Drugs, I'll look them up.
(, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:18, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1