Rather than just slagging off someone popular:
ABout ten years ago, I had an early mid-life crisis after Mrs.ScousersPet dumped me and started going out with a 17 year old lass with an arse so tight you could bounce pennies off it (that last bit is not relevant, I just felt like boasting). She used to drag me to a pub in Liverpool every Monday night to see the latest shit band one of her mates was in, all with "witty" names (Zombina and the Skeletones, anyone?) and no musical ability. So I saw some really shit bands over the few months I was seeing her.

The best / worst were a group of 15ish year old lads, in really awful corpse-paint - one clearly hadn't got the "black and white only" memo and had got his mum to have a stab at doing the Ziggy Stardust lightening bolt on his face - and with zero tallent. I think they were going for somewhere in between Rammstein and Slipknot, but just ended up sounding like they were tryting to play different tracks, all while falling down the stairs.

Highlights included:
the drummer counting them in and no-one actually starting to play
them all finishing their first song at different times
a "Bad News" moment where the bassist and the lead guitarist had a near-fight over who's amp should be loudest
their second drummer's entire role in the band being hitting an empty beer-barrel with a variety of hammers - but him not having the stamina to "play" for an entire track. Made a little bit funnier by the fact he's last less and less of each track as he got more and more tired.
the "main" drummer managing to whack his hand against the edge of one of his drums and stopping playing while he held his hand and cried a bit
no-one noticing that the lead singer's mic had cut out half way through one song, so they carried on regardless
one of the band's mum doing a weird "flower-child on acid" dance in front of the stage for their entire set, even when they weren't playing

By the end of their set, I was laughing so hard that the young lass didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening. No great loss, I wasn't with her for her sparkling conversation.
(ScousersPet, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:27, 5 replies)

To be honest
That sounded like a good night out.
(zebby wasting irony here on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:31, closed)

Mrs.ScousersPet dumped me and started going out with a 17 year old lass
I think you're missing an "I" there. Sadly.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:44, closed)

^This
I didn't comment because I was too busy enjoying the mental image.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:54, closed)

Or maybe some stategically placed commas?
"I had an early mid-life crisis, after Mrs.ScousersPet dumped me, and started going out with a 17 year old lass"

Better?

And, to be honest, she started going out with girls not long after we split up. I like to think it's because no man was good enough for her compared with me. Like the were innadequate somehow. Maybe they couldn't measure up, sort of thing. I must have been a big act to follow. They clearly couldn't hit the right spots like I could. Because of my massive cock.
(ScousersPet, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 14:40, closed)

I quite like Zombina and the Skeletones
They have got some good tunes and always look rather fun. However, i saw them playing live and will conceed that they were awful on stage.
(champagnerocker, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:07, closed)