The Smiths
More specifically, the joyless racist cunt Morrissey.

Not only were they dull, whiny and pretentious beyond human understanding; not only were they musically vapid and lyrically asinine; not only are their fans the kind of people who give you that pitying glare when you smoke or eat meat or smoke meat or laugh - the worst part is they've somehow managed to convince people (possibly people with no ears?) that they're clever. They're like some quote I once read about Stephen Fry: "a stupid person's idea of what a clever person looks like". The kind of people who listen to the Smiths are the kind of people who discount the opinions of anyone who doesn't like the Smiths, because since listening to the Smiths makes you clever, anyone who doesn't listen to the Smiths must be some kind of dribbling troglodyte. (Much the same is true of Stephen Fry, actually; but since he's not a band I'll save that one for "national treasures you want to kick".)

Also, Morrissey is a joyless racist cunt.

That said, Tim Brooke-Taylor's version of Girlfriend In A Coma is fucking delightful.
(Shinigami, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 15:35, 6 replies)

Musically vapid?
You need to put them in context to understand where they fit in the history of UK music. I was never their biggest fan, but even I can see your talking out your arse here, trying to build a case with a couple of 'big words' and some false stereotypes.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 2 Jan 2011, 15:57, closed)

/\
This.

If there's one thing I can't understand people accusing the Smiths of, it's being 'musically vapid'.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:06, closed)

I'm not hugely convinced
putting music "into context" improves it any. Listening to grunge in the early '90s may have been a refreshing experience for all those people who were fed up of hair metal, but that doesn't mean the under-30s can't appreciate the music in its own right (I'm not a huge fan of grunge, but it was the first thing that came to mind). Similarly, it's possible to enjoy punk without being a disaffected teenager in the '70s.

As for false stereotypes - maybe you're right and I've just met a bunch of wankers who happen to be fans of the Smiths. It's entirely possible there are people I get on with who dig them and just don't share (I can't imagine why when I am clearly so musically open-minded). So for "Smiths fans" up there, read "rabid Smiths fans" or "people who define themselves primarily as Smiths fans" or something.

I stand by my big words.
(Shinigami, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:10, closed)

Okay I'll Bite
I like the Smiths and, guess what, I'm very much a carnivore. Also, I know many other people who enjoy listening to the Smiths and are not: Vegetarians, sexually repressed, or humour-free zones. In fact it is possible to listen to the Smiths and enjoy their music without necessarily following the lifestyle with the religious fanaticism many Smiths fans are often accused of.

Musically vapid? I love Johnny Marr's guitar playing. I know everyone goes on about the riff to 'How Soon is Now' but have a listen to some of the fret-work on 'Big Mouth Strikes again", "William it was really Nothing", "The Joke isn't funny anymore" or "What Difference Does it Make" and try telling me the guy can't play! There aren't many who can match him.

As for Morrisey's lyrics, there is a lot of dry wit and cutting humour in them: "I look at yours, you laugh at mine and love is just a miserable lie!" for example

If I would say one thing about the Smiths they are a band that you can't just give a superficial listen to, you need to give them a few listens before it starts to make sense. But if you don't want to take the time to find out, well that's fine also -it's your loss!
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 19:14, closed)

See above re: clarification of "Smiths fans"
This is the problem I have with the Smiths fans I have encountered, though: that implication that I only don't like them because I haven't tried hard enough. Music, to me, is not something for which you can get an acquired taste - you listen to something and you either dig it or you don't; and if you have to make an effort to like a song, maybe it's just not your thing. I don't like Lady Gaga. I'm pretty sure I will continue not to like her no matter how many times I involuntarily hear "Bad Romance".

I don't doubt Marr is talented, I just find the music he plays to be mind-numbingly boring. Morrissey's "wit" is a bit too smug and sixth-formy to me: I don't think he's as clever as he thinks he is. "If you think peace is a common goal/That goes to show how little you know"? Oh get you, Holden Caulfield.
(Shinigami, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 20:46, closed)

Nobody understands me but Morrissey
and nobody understands Morrissey but me.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 1:24, closed)