b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Worst Band Ever » Post 1027480 | Search
This is a question Worst Band Ever

If I was in charge of the B3ta fatwa department, we wouldn't be hearing too much from Simply Red in the future. Who's on your musical shit list and why?

(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 12:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

« Go Back

Kiss.....my anus.
When I was a youth, eagerly devouring the monthly edition of Kerrang! (yes, it was THAT long ago), the bands I loved, the young guns of metal, all used to cite Kiss as one of their main influences. Loads of tales about how they were the heaviest thing since, erm, something very heavy, how mind-blowingly good they were, how everyone wanted to be just like them. (Only different, obviously) It seemed everyone of the thrash bands I loved had "dressed up like Kiss and put on little shows in the back yard"
Well, I had to get my hands on some of this Kiss music, it was obviously going to be life-changing for me, I would see the light, heavy-beyond-heavy fucking metal...yeaaaaah!!!

One bloke I knew was a Kiss fan, and he also ranted and raved about them: How could I like Sabbath and Ozzy, totally shit compared to Kiss. Metallica? (Eeh, "Ride the Lightning" days) Crap mate, ripped off Kiss, nowhere near as good, they'll disappear after the next LP, you'll see.

I, with some other un-educated young rockers congregated at Fat Jock's place, to learn the true secret of Metal, to watch his live Kiss video.
The lights dimmed, the intro faded out, BOOM! a massive pyro salvo.....we were right on the edge of cumming now.......aaaaand.....PARP!

Everyone of us Kiss virgins was momentarily stunned, but not by the awesome power of these true metal gods. No, by how absolutely abysmal they were. They sounded like the fucking Osmonds. What. A. Pile. Of. Shit.

Since then I'm constantly amazed they are still plodding on, still playing to massive crowds, and still eliciting gushing praise from other bands. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes, they are fucking crap, no two ways about it, but no-one wants to stand up and say "This lot are shit."
I can understand that they were different and exciting in the 1970s, so would attract attention, but then so was Crazy World of Arthur Brown, and you don't hear people banging on about him, do you?

Worst has to be the way a certain Mr Simmons and Mr Stanley have conformed to the worst racial stereotypes and squeezed the last nth of blood out of the Kiss stone, fucking over band members and fans alike in the blind pursuit of cash. They have managed to keep a novelty giggle going for nearly 40 years, with only a hint of musical talent.

I don't begrudge them a living, or the desire to retain control of their image and rights, but those fuckers have taken it to a new level. Rock stardom should be about drinking, shagging and making music, not licensing comic books, action figures and counting the cash. Or at least, let someone else do the business stuff whilst you live out the rock star life, vicariously for us. I want my rock stars to do massive amounts of drugs, fuck groupies, and, importantly, make music that makes me feel good, not build business empires which are apparently more important than playing guitar.

I read not so long back that now Shylock & Co are getting too long in the tooth to be doing all that playing live nonsense, they are looking to franchise out the Kiss name, find hired hands to play their characters and keep the band on the road while they just pull the strings!

Actually, it might be worthwhile, the puppets might come up with some music that is actually worth listening to. God I hate Kiss, and all they stand for.
(, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 15:21, 8 replies)
This gets my vote!
The first time I heard them, after so much build up, I was confused why the titans of rock were playing such bland, mediocre, tepid piss.

Kin' terrible band.
(, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:37, closed)
I went to a new years eve party
this year as Paul Stanley. I'm female. I felt I needed to add this to the hatred here.
(, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 23:44, closed)
I hope
you paid the royalty fee for using his likeness, his lawyers are probably hunting your IP address as we speak.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 2:21, closed)
Oh god yes
And I had the same experience with the Grateful Dead...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 11:08, closed)
Ha ha had pretty much the same experience myself.
Then again I loved Queensryche!
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 11:24, closed)
Nicely put dood - Gene Simmons deserves everything he gets....

(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 8:30, closed)
I'm glad to see it's not just me.

After spending time to track down some of their 'classics' I don't get why "Detroit Rock City" or "Rock and Roll All Nite" were such huge hits - was that period in the 70s really so dire?
(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:50, closed)
"God Gave Rock and Roll to You" - I rest my case. Honestly, what truly dire, dull music! The last line doesn't even fucking scan properly.

But every time I mention my hatred of this band to anyone, it's met with utterly incredulous replies, like I must be deaf.

(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 16:56, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1