At least mine were never this bad...
I had a string of random nicknames as a kid, and all through school, mostly revolving around shortened versions of my name but with bits added on. Example: Allinator, Allisaur, Lallison, etc.

I had a teacher call me Shotgun for two years of middle school because there were two of us with the same name in homeroom, but the other spelled her name with only one L. Hence, I started off as 'Double Barrel Allison' and ended up as 'Shotgun'. Better than everyone else in the class, whom he called Pookie.

But, there were some people I knew back home who had the worst nicknames. A friend of mine got the nickname PigFucker, and no one knew why. Someone once said it was because he was short enough to roger a pig. There was also a friend of my brother's who apparently was a difficult birth, so his own mother, hopped up on painkillers nicknamed him 'Stinky Fat Pig'. Twenty some odd years later, people still call him Stinky, or Stinky Fats instead of Dylan. The worst part was he grew so accustomed to it, that's how it introduced himself to people all the time.
(chaoticmatter, Sat 20 May 2006, 23:27, Reply)