THERE'S NO ONE QUITE LIKE GRANDMA !
THERE'S NO ONE QUITE LIKE GRANDMA
St. Winifred's School Choir - 1980

The lisping voice, the doe eyed children, the sickly sweet, sugar coated lyrics that decay your teeth as you listen.


Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
Though you may be far away
We think of you
(They think of her alright, and hope they get a fiver in their next birthday card instead of having to visit the funny old lady who smells of cat)

There's no one quite like Grandma
And I know you will agree
That she always is a friend to you
And she's a friend to me
There's no one quite like Grandma
She's there in times of need
Before it's bedtime, on her knee
To us a book she'll read
(A friend ? A friend ? She's an old lady for Christs sake, not a mate.. On her knee, with her arthritis, not fucking likely sweetheart)

Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
Though you may be far away
We think of you
(see above)

And one day when we're older
We'll look back and say
There's no one quite like Grandma
She has helped us on our way
(Yes, dear old granny in a home, smelling of her own wee, pissing in a bag attached to her leg, senile and toothless. She was such a help)

Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
(Ok, we get the picture, you're into older women now shut the watermelon up !)

There's no one quite like Grandma
A love we always share
At party time and Christmas too
We know that she'll be there
There's no one quite like Grandma
She always has a smile
She never hurries us along
Just stays a little while
(Party time and Christmas too when she gives us gifts, and note how they say 'She never hurries us along Just stays a little while'.. A little while only 'cos your dad can't wait to get her back to the home so he can get pissed and watch the Morcombe and Wise Xmas special)

Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
Though you may be far away
We think of you
(Give it a fucking rest will you)

And one day when we're older
We'll look back and say
There's no one quite like Grandma
She has helped us on our way
(Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....)

Grandma, we love you
Grandma, we do
Grandma, we love you
And we know you love us too
(Oh just get a fucking room will you If you love her that much then why don't you just marry her ?)

I hate that song, I really, really do.
( Darryn.R, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 17:17, Reply)