Housemaid Ft. Kim - 'Fish'
Hmm, not sure if this properly counts because it isn't the worst record ever. That is 'Little Children' by Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas and I'm sure the Michael Jackson version would be up there, too. But hear me out. Fish should be in here because it is truly awful. Think mid-90s cheesy Euro-house, if measured on the Stilton Scale of 1-10 and Culture Beat's 'Mr Vain' is a 6.9, 'Fish' ranks as at least 12.9 - it is that cheesy. The main riff is stolen from some other track which is lost in the sands of time or Room 101. The vocals are the typical female singer who isn't singing in her first language but still trying her best style. This is all bad, but not grotesquely bad. But then we come to the sleeve. Picture, if you will, a cartoon fish with a penis for a nose. And then the lyrics. The main hookline: 'There are two things in the world that smell like fish. One of them fish...what's the other one?' And if the subject of the song wasn't already abundantly clear the singer helpfully inquires 'do you ever wash that thang?'

I've always hoped and assumed that the song was a joke and have taken it as such, but if serious...it has to be among the worst records of all time. And I have a copy of it...for some unknown reason.
(pizzadeliveryninja, Thu 4 Dec 2003, 19:26, Reply)