People who don’t take marriage seriously; “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!”
A few years ago when I was in my late 20’s I went through that stage where all your friends get married. Now that I’m in my early 30’s I seem to be going through that stage where all your friends get divorced. I hear such piss poor excuses. Lets hear some of them:

“I thought I would feel differently after we were married” – Really? You thought there would be a magical change in your relationship after a wedding ceremony?

“I knew he/she wasn’t the one when we got married” – *Facepalm* Well genius, perhaps that was a sign that YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GOT MARRIED!

“I wanted to have children and raise them in a stable family” – How’s that working out for you dipshit?

“I wanted my special day” – You stupid self-centred twat, you wasted all that time and money just so you could be the centre of attention for ONE DAY. Give me my present back.

“We were too young to get married” – YOU WERE 24! There are 18 year olds fighting a war in Afghanistan, THAT’S young.

“Well it was either get married or split up” – What did you do, flip a coin? Heads we marry, tails we’re idiots?

Some of these people are actually going to marry AGAIN. I have already told one of my mates that I don’t want to be his best man again, he actually had the gall to act a bit hurt, but not as hurt as his ex was when he divorced her for not being “the one”.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 10:46, 36 replies)

I'm one of those people who got married young.
I was 21. Divorced two years ago. Don't regret it because we married for the right reasons (i.e. we were in love and genuinely wanted to be together). Lots of shit happened and we split up.

Might get married again, but I'm not going to rush into it if there's a next time. That's what I did wrong the first time.
(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:00, closed)

You did marriage wrong but married for the right reasons?
Can I add that one to the list?

Edit - You ninja edited, that's cheating.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:05, closed)

You can get married for the right reasons but have it go wrong.
We did love each other. We had been together a while, had bought a house and had lived together for ages. We thought it was the next step in our relationship.

We fucked it up because we grew apart and wanted different things.
(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:12, closed)

I am agreeing with you, btw.

(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:14, closed)

Yeah, i'm being a bit of a cunt here...i'll stop.
It's easy to judge. Fun too.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:18, closed)

I should probably add ...
We fucked it up because we grew apart and wanted different things and didn't do anything about it.

We tried to get back together a couple of times, but the same arguments kept getting dragged up. We tried marriage counseling which didn't work because he didn't bother showing up, and neither of us we were willing to make sacrifices for the other, which I now know is a key part of marriage.

You live, you learn.
(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:35, closed)

I'm a little hazy on the wedding vows...
"For richer for poorer , for better for worse, in sickness and in health...unless you grow apart and want different things, in which case fuck it you can always get divorced"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:17, closed)

Are you married?

(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:30, closed)

No, because I have never met someone who I wanted to marry
and be with for ever and ever and ever.

Although my parents celebrate their 40th this year. They were 20 when they got married, so "woo" to them.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:33, closed)

Marriage isn't treated the same way as it was when our parents were young.
I've been to two weddings this year. I have another three coming up. It'll be interesting to see which ones stick it out and which ones don't.
(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:37, closed)

For people who take life seriously; “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!”
chill out dude.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:02, closed)

But marriage IS serious

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:09, closed)

I agree.
It's taken me getting married and divorced to realise it.
(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:13, closed)

No it's not.
It's a disposable, silly, outdated sexit legal contract that originates in the exchange of women for property.

I'm getting married next year.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:33, closed)

Ha! Congratulations old bean!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:37, closed)

Congratulations :D

(Happy Little Cupcake desires macaroni pictures., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:38, closed)

^this
Why anyone still gets married is beyond me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:44, closed)

Tax reasons.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 13:54, closed)

Amen.
My lady wants us to get married. I keep putting her off with increasingly ridiculous reasons. "We're too poor. I hate flowers. The institution has been cheapened by The Gays. I'm gay."
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:06, closed)

No its not.
It's a method of control from the church and or government.
I think Doug Stanhope on Marriage puts it well.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXpsT3e8UsM

I'm married; but a don't need a bit of paper for the government or a magic blessing from Jew Zombie to tell me its ok.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:54, closed)

Yes it is.
so there.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:02, closed)

well if that's your retort
I don't think you should get married either.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:43, closed)

I know you are but what am I
it's just words on the internet. You don't mind if I consider marriage to be a serious thing do you?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:52, closed)

I think the word serious has different levels of mean for people.
1. Imagine a very big chair.
2. How big was that chair in your head?
1 meter? 5 meters?

Mine was 2 billions light years from top to bottom. some people may that that's a fucking big chair. Always best to find out what people what people mean when they use subjective language.

I put serious in the "live and death" situations category.

Do I take my relationship seriously? Yes
Do I take the bit of government paper that says I'm married seriously? No. fuck the government. They've no business in my life.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:05, closed)

whys the government got no business in your life?
just curious as to the level of intrusion you think they have? surly its not just 'government' but the legal document you need for next of kin and all that that involves and are you a merkin by chance?
(Bernardate, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:39, closed)

So is cancer.

(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 22:45, closed)

Rhythm IS a dancer

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 9:26, closed)

The 'Celebrity Marriages'...
rile me up no end.

Don't they set a fine example to their followers - 10 month marriages etc

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1294158/Christina-Milian-splits-husband-The-Dream-months-birth-daughter-Violet.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

p.s. please don't think i actually read this shit. It's just an example
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:28, closed)

I ignore such tripe
it's not real, they're not real people in real marriages leading real lives. They're the bastard spawn of Max Clifford.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:31, closed)

Christ I've got to go to a wedding this weekend
Fuck's sake. At least it's not a goddy ceremony.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:22, closed)

Good, no hymns. I absolutely hate hymns.
And they always choose "all things bright and beautiful" with that line about "the purple headed mountains"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:24, closed)

had that at my wedding
not my choice, but hearing my friends giggle away like naughty schoolboys from the back of the church lifted the whole moment.
(mersault, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:45, closed)

I'm 22 and well aware I'm too young to get married
in my case, "too young" meaning "I want to do my PhD and travel the world a bit and meet lots of new people without having the responsibility of a husband". Which I think is fair enough. And I don't think I've met "the one" yet, if there is such a thing.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 13:05, closed)

My best friend is 26....
...and has been married for ten months. Three weeks ago, her husband told her that he 'simple didn't love her anymore', packed his bags and fucked off. They've been together for six years and have lived together for nearly five. She really thought he was 'the one' and married him, in a big church ceremony, with the full intention of starting a family and being together 'until death do they part'. He has since told her that he had realised that he didn't want to be with her months before the wedding, but wanted to go through with it in order to give her the special day she had always dreamed of. It's cost her thousands and caused a whole lot of heartache, not to mention legal issues. Whilst I fully believe that he needs separating from his testicles, I am also inclined to think that she's partly to blame for not having spotted the signs sooner. He's certainly no actor and I suspect that she was far too caught up in planning the big day to consider how he might have felt about making such a commitment. I don't dare tell her this though, I enjoy the evenings we spend noshing huge tubs of Ben and Jerry's and watching weepy films far too much.
(Bob Frapples is de-lurking on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:36, closed)

I agree wholeheartedly with your angry tirade

(teebie jeebie, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:54, closed)

I know
too many people my age doing this.
I'm 20 and people I know from school seem to get engaged and then 3 weeks later its all over.
Dread to think what it would be like if they actually got married.
(FootOfTim, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 18:28, closed)